


The Loaded Key

by Decker



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1920s, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-17
Updated: 2011-09-29
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decker/pseuds/Decker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illustrations by the very talented invalidGriffin</p><p>It's 1927, a year of gangsters, daring police chases, and storybook romance. Karkat Vantas is the owner of the hottest Jazz club in town, The Loaded Key, and the leader of the gang of bootleggers that keeps the speakeasy in the basement stocked. It's a lucrative setup, but he'll have to deal with the police, rival mobsters, and his own circle of gang members and friends falling apart around him. And when these three obstacles come together, it's going to take a little dealing, a little luck, and a whole lot of firepower to make it out in one piece.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Roaring 20's

“No dead cops you crazy Russian bitch!” Karkat barked at her. “Why did I bring you two along anyway?”

Vriska grinned. “Because no one can shoot like me and no one can drive like my _preeyatyel_ even if their legs work.”

_I can't believe someone with bum legs is driving this deathtrap,_ Karkat thought to himself desperately. He was in the back seat of the heavily modified Model A, holding onto a large barrel of river-rum with one hand and his hat with the other. City roads were not built for cars going this fast, so he was getting rattled around and rather car-sick. The sirens following them had his nerves shot. Having Tavros drive and Vriska loading a Thomson didn't do much to calm him down. He didn't like the grin she had on her face.

She grabbed the edge of the roof, leaned out, and opened fire. Karkat winced as he felt his ears ring and a couple of spent shells fell in the back seat with him. Tavros looked back at Karkat.

“That...uh...means something like friend.”

“Watch the fucking road!”

“Oh! Sorry.” Tavros reached next to the shifter and leaned on another lever. The car started speeding up again.

Unbelievable. One for gas, one for the brake, and one for shifting gears. He worked them with one hand and steered with the other. And they were still outrunning the police.

Karkat found himself slightly relieved that he could still hear the siren. At least she didn't kill anyone with that last round of gunfire. No one that he knew of anyway. Vriska looked at Karkat like she was reading his mind. Maybe she was. There were rumors about her.

“The bulls knew what they were getting into.” She sneered.

She leaned out of the window and opened fire again, emptying the rest of the drum. This time the siren faded into the distance. Karkat looked like he was going to be sick.

“I swear to God, if you just murdered...”

“Relax. I just...murdered their car. Poof. Steam cloud.” She waved her hand.

Karkat sighed and rubbed his face.

“Alright, fuckin...alright. Tavros, slow down when we turn that corner. Last thing we need now is to get fucking busted for speeding.”

“Okay boss.”

*

Sollux popped the hood of their cruiser. He took off his police cap and waved the steam out of his face.

“Well, looks like the motor is shot. Literally,” he groused.

A newly sworn in Aradia was sitting in the passenger seat, poking a finger through the new hole in her shiny new police hat.

“First Sargent Equius and now this. It's been a heck of a first day. You know the most charming people, Sollux.”

“Yeah, sorry about old horse-face. He's an ass and a hemo-facist.”

“He smells terrible too.” She laughed. “I don't think I've ever seen someone sweat that much before.”

“You're awfully calm for someone who just got shot at. By the Mad Russian no less.”

“I'm screaming in the inside, I assure you.” She said it coolly, but her hands were shaking a little.

Sollux walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey, you did good. If it makes you feel any better, it doesn’t get much worse than this. If you got through today, the rest of your job should be easy.”

Aradia lifted her hand up and placed it on Sollux's

“Thanks. That helps, believe it or not.”

“After a day like today, I don't think anyone is going to think any less of you if you ask for a desk-job instead.”

Aradia just shook her head.

“No. I know what I signed up for. I just wasn't expecting to get it all at once.”

“Well, at least we broke down outside a burger place. Think you can eat anything after that?”

“Thanks, but I really just want to get back to the station now.”

“Well, we better start walking then. Going to take us about half-an-hour to get there on foot. Help me get this hunk of scrap off the road. You steer.”

Sollux leaned on the back of the car and they slowly maneuvered it to the side of the road. Once it was out of the way of the rest of traffic, or at least where traffic would be when the sun came up, Aradia stepped out and brushed off her uniform. It was deep blue with bright brass accents, unlike Sollux's which was getting a bit faded and tarnished.

“Have you met Detective Leijon yet?”

“I don't think so.”

“She's a strange one. You might like her though.”

“Strange?”

“She has a thing for cats.”

“Cats?”

“And trashy romance books.”

“Oh my.”

*

The Loaded Key was one of the more popular jazz clubs in the city. Though it was quiet during the day, things kicked up after the sun set and stayed kicked up until sunrise. There was music, dancing, and the occasional magic show and fortune telling.

There was also a basement.

It was actually more like a cave. It was under most of the basements in the city, and it was huge. About forty feet by eighty, crammed with large tables and chairs, and a long bar running down one wall. Down there, people gambled, smoked, and most importantly in this dry city, drank. Despite the late hour, the club was closed and empty.

Almost empty.

Karkat came down a long ramp off of one side of the great room, rolling a barrel in front of him. Tavros wheeled behind him in his wheelchair, and Vriska brought up the rear with her hands in her pockets and her gun tucked under her arm. Karkat stopped the barrel and scanned the room. His eyes fell on four figures sitting around a table playing cars.

“Hey! Give me a hand you assholes!” Karkat shouted across the room.

Dave Strider was the first to look up.

“Well, since you asked so nicely...”

Dave had striking blond hair and dark glasses. Unlike the three trolls that walked in, who were wearing gray pinstripe suits with Vriska in a long trench-coat, Dave was dressed in deep, solid black. His instrument case was sitting next to his chair. No one could blow a sax like Dave, and he was as quick as a cat with a knife.

John and Jade looked over as well. They were almost twins, in looks and in personality, except for their different genders. Black hair and glasses and silly, bucktooth grins. They looked like they should have been running a library, not doing the wetwork for a gang of bootleggers. Fact was that Jade could shoot the wings off of a fly from fifty yards, and John could put someone down on the ground for good with one swing of his hammer. John played the piano for their little jazz sessions, and Jade plucked a double bass.

“Hey Karkat!” John grinned and waved. “Run into any trouble?”

“Yes we ran into fucking trouble. The cops chased us halfway through the city.”

Jade frowned “No one got hurt, did they?”

“Says the girl who dropped two guys three days ago.”

“That was different! They started shooting first!” Jade stuck her tongue out at Karkat.

“Ditzy bitch!”

“Fuckass!”

John ignored the argument and looked at Vriska “You didn't use that thing, did you?” John motioned to her machine gun.

“Relax _krasavets_ , no one got hurt. That I know of.” She smiled.

The fourth card player, a blond girl in a brightly colored dress and lot of jewelry, looked over her shoulder at Vriska with a raised eyebrow. She knew what that word meant.

“You mean to tell me you, of all people, weren’t shooting to kill?”

Vriska smiled like a snake. “No, Gypsy Rose. I'm a good girl now. Reformed from my murderous ways!”

Rose gave Vriska a look that showed she didn't believe a word of it.

John shrugged. “She said she didn't. That's good enough for me.”

Rose sighed and turned back to her cards.

“We prefer Romani,” Rose said almost as an afterthought.

“Come off it!” Karkat snapped, managing to stop trading profanities with Jade long enough to point a finger at Rose. “We all know your mother was old money.”

“Maybe, but the...act...is good for business.” Rose smirked.

Besides playing the violin, Rose made some good money as a fortune teller. She had a crystal ball and all smoky incense and trappings one needed to create a mystical atmosphere. She even had a foreign accent she brought out just for the customers. It was mostly just psychology. Telling someone what they wanted to hear. But Rose had a deck of Tarot cards in a plain white box that could tell frighteningly accurate truths sometimes. She chalked it up to “Gypsy magic” when asked about it, but she handed out fortunes from that deck sparingly. The truth rarely made her popular.

“Having booze is good for business, so will you fuckers wash some bottles out and empty this thing already?” Karkat snapped again, kicking the barrel hard enough to roll it forward a few inches.

John looked at Dave, who shrugged. They both walked over and started to roll the barrel behind the bar.

“Did ...uh...you four manage to find anything?” Tavros finally spoke up.

Jade smiled wide. “Three cases of wine! Kanaya got a tip.”

“Oh God, don't tell Gamzee or it won't last until tomorrow. Where are those two anyway?”

Jade chewed a fingernail in thought, but it was Rose who spoke up.

“Kanaya is upstairs, putting together a song list for tomorrow. I think Gamzee is sleeping off a bottle of cheap red. He was asleep with a bottle in his hand when I got here anyway.”

“We're both done,” came a silky soft voice from the stairway. Kanaya was descending the stairs in a shimmering floor length green dress. Kanaya was always one who paid attention to her appearance. It was her looks and her voice that drew the crowds in during the night.

Gamzee was at the top of the stairs leaning on the railing. He wore a gray suit like the other trolls, but it was wrinkled and the collar was unbuttoned. His hair was a perpetual mess. Gamzee, besides being the son of a bishop, was such a regular customer that he became part of the gang through sheer attendance. Karkat complained about his uselessness, as he was almost constantly drunk or asleep, but kept him around anyway. After seeing Gamzee get into a fight, angry and sober, with a couple of rival gang members, Karkat decided that, if nothing else, he didn't want Gamzee as an enemy. It took them hours of scrubbing to clean up the mess.

“I heard you ran into some trouble,” Kanaya said, crossing her arms.

“I heard you had some blood of Christ,” Gamzee said, grinning.

“That stuff is for paying customers, you wino. You know the rules. No free drinks,” Karkat said shortly.

“Aw, alright.” Gamzee reached into his pocket. “How much?”

Karkat looked at Jade. He didn't see what they brought in.

“It's pretty classy stuff,” she said, looking apologetically at Gamzee. “It's ten years old.”

“Three bucks,” Karkat said to Gamzee. “You'll get some of it back when we split the profits,” he added upon seeing Gamzee's frown.

Gamzee shrugged, lobbed three silver coins into Karkat's waiting hand and started down the stairs to get his purchase. Money had never been a problem for Gamzee.

Kanaya tapped her foot. “As much as I hate to interrupt your business...”

“No one got hurt, Kanaya. They...had a breakdown a couple miles from here,” Karkat said

“A breakdown.”

“Yeah, a break down. Don't look at me like that.”

“You do know I overheard Vriska saying she shot it up.”

“Sounds like a common fucking breakdown in this city.”

Vriska smiled up at her. “Talking like I'm not even here? I'm hurt.”

Kanaya sighed. “I'm sorry Vriska, but you always make me nervous when you go out on these...errands. Hearing things like this don't put me at ease."

“As you can see, I'm fine, Ms. Fussyfangs.”

“But for how long, Vriska? You shoot at people. They shoot back. How long does your luck last?”

Vriska frowned. “What's it to you?”

“I'm your friend, Vriska...”

“Then be my friend. Don't be my mother.” Vriska turned and started to walk out. “I'm going out for a while. I'll be back for breakfast.”

“To the casino again?” Kanaya crossed her arms.

“Yes, my _sovests_ , thank you for your concern,” Vriska said irritably.

Vriska disappeared up the ramp she followed Karkat down. Kanaya just sighed. She looked around and noticed that everyone was curiously interested in something other than looking at her. She blushed slightly, realizing that everyone was just listening to her fuss over Vriska. Karkat decided to show her a little mercy.

“Kanaya, go take stock. Make sure we have enough booze to open tomorrow.”

“I...uh...right.”

“I'm right back here already Kar...” John waved his hand.

“And I want Kanaya to do it, Egbert! I don't trust you to get past ten without taking off your shoes. Kanaya, move it.”

Kanaya nodded and swept into the back room behind the bar.

Karkat sighed and sat down at the same bar. He reached into his pocket and dropped a quarter on the table. Karkat followed his own rules.

“Egbert, make me a whiskey sour will ya? I need a drink after tonight.”

“Sure, Karkat.”

“Oh, hey, this IS good stuff,” Gamzee said, sniffing the bottle he just uncorked. He grinned and took a pull directly from the bottle.

“You're a classless bum, Gamzee,” Karkat said.

“Fuckin' right.” Gamzee agreed.

*

By the time Sollux and Aradia made it back to the station, the morning sun was just peeking over the horizon.

“You've been quiet,” Sollux noted, “Still a little shaken up?”

“Yes, but it's not that. I caught a glimpse of that driver. I think I've seen him before...”

“Oh? I don't remember his name, but we can ask the sergeant to pull the file on him when he's done reaming us out.”

Aradia laughed.

“Reaming you out for what?”

Aradia and Sollux both looked over and saw Equius standing in the doorway. Equius was very spit-and-polish. His buttons shone and his uniform was always neatly pressed. He did everything by the book, even if the book had been printed a hundred years ago. Sollux always suspected that the sergeant was a wild man when he was off duty. With his sweating when he became nervous or confronted with something that went against his worldview, Equius gave the impression of someone who was _just_ resisting dropping the whole moral high-ground.

The two junior officers instinctively snapped into a salute.

Equius sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Rumor had it that he hadn't been sleeping well. His eyes certainly showed it.

“Alright, what kind of trouble did our red-blood recruit manage to get into on her first day?”

Aradia visibly bristled at having her blood color mentioned. Sollux preemptively cut her off.

“We ran into Vriska, sir.”

“And you went after her without backup, I assume.”

“Well...” Sollux went on, “...we were trying to pull over a car that's been seen transporting liquor in the past. We didn't know Vriska was in it until she opened fire. She...uh...she shot up the engine.”

“She what?! Do you have any idea how much money it takes to fix those things?” Equius roared.

“We're fine.” Aradia said sharply. “Sir.”

Equius gave her a bewildered look. She held her gaze angrily on his face. He started sweating.

“Permission to get a new hat?” Aradia said finally.

“Hrmp...granted.” Equius recovered. “As a matter of fact, both of you get cleaned up. The chief and the mayor are going to be here any minute.”

“What? Why?” Sollux asked in a confused tone.

“I don't question my superiors, Captor,” Equius said angrily. “I advise you to do the same. Now move! I need to think of how I'm going to ask for another car and I do my thinking better when I don't have to deal with incompetent warm-bloods.”

Aradia snapped off another sharp salute and walked out of the room, clenching her fists. Sollux followed close behind her.

“Lord knows he needs all the help he can get.” Aradia hissed just loud enough for Sollux to hear.

Sollux laughed.

As they walked down the hall, Sollux stopped and motioned Aradia to follow him down another hallway. They opened a door into an unlabeled back office.

Aradia was wondering what Sollux was doing until she spotted a slightly built girl sitting on the desk and reading a small book. She was so deep into the story that she didn't notice anyone walk in. Sollux cleared his throat and she jumped, quickly putting the book down.

“Hi! You must be the new recruit!” She grinned.

“Yes. Aradia Megido. And you are?”

“Nepeta Leijon.”

“You're Detective Leijon? You don't look like a detective.”

“That's kind of the point. I work undercover.”

Nepeta certainly didn't look like an official. She wore an old coat and pants that were far too big on her tiny frame, along with a pair of fingerless gloves. If anything, she looked like a homeless person. Even through the baggy clothes, Aradia could tell that she had the body of an athlete. She must have gotten into her fair share of fights.

Sollux looked back at Nepeta.

“Hey look. Equius is probably going to want you to clean up. The mayor and the chief are going to be showing up.”

“Feferi is coming here?!” Nepeta got up off the desk and started jumping up and down excitedly.

“With Chief Ampora. Don't get too excited.”

Nepeta stopped jumping and slumped.

“Ug. I hate him. The way he looks at me makes me feel like I need a shower.”

“He does that to everyone, Nepeta.”

“Yeah, that makes me feel better.” Nepeta rolled her eyes.

During this exchange, Aradia and moved around behind them and picked up the book Nepeta had been reading. When Nepeta noticed her standing there, she was reading where Nepeta had left off. Aradia's face was bright red.

“Hey. Gimmie that!” Nepeta snatched the book out of her hand.

Aradia blinked. “How do you get away with reading these things at work!?”

“I keep these in my office for a reason.”

“Well you should keep them in a plain brown bag. In a safe,” Aradia said, still a little flustered.

Nepeta gave her a nasty look, but on that cherubic face, the effect was somewhat lost.

“Alright, alright.” Nepeta threw her hands up. “Let Equius know I'll be out in fifteen minutes. Now get. I need to change.”

“Why did you cross out the names and write in-”

“I said scram!” Nepeta, with surprising strength, shoved them both out the door.

Aradia blinked a few times as the door slammed shut behind them.

“You were right, Sollux. She is an odd one.”

“Couldn't have a better officer watching your back though. And she's a nice girl most of the time.”

“I believe you. Really.”

Aradia needed some time to find a new hat that fit her mass of long hair.

“Hasn't Equius been getting on your case about your hair?” Sollux asked.

“Yes. I told him I would cut my hair when he cut his. He hasn't asked about it since then.”

“Heh.”

By the time Aradia had found a suitable hat and Sollux had polished some of the tarnish off of his uniform, there were, to Aradia's surprise, three trolls in the lobby talking with Equius.

The one that Aradia picked out as the mayor was a surprisingly tall, thin troll with round glasses and a look of almost maniacal good nature on her face. She looked very excitable and animated, moving her hands around a lot when she talked.

Chief Ampora was a different story. He had large, thick rimmed glasses and looked constantly irritated. Aradia noticed that he wore a lot of accessories. Rings, watch-chains, gaudy cufflinks. He was someone who needed to be noticed.

The unexpected guest was another female troll, but with a sharp blue suit and red tinted glasses. She leaned against the reception desk, listening to everyone talk with a toothy grin on her face. She made Aradia nervous. The third troll looked like a shark, gently circling and looking for an opportunity to move in for the kill.

It was the third troll that noticed Sollux and Aradia standing at attention in the doorway.

“Is that your new officer, Sergeant?” She asked, thumbing at Aradia.

Equius took looked at where she was pointing.

“Uh...yes. Officer Megido, come over her for a minute...please.”

Aradia decided that, despite his behavior earlier, she wasn't going to give Equius a hard time. She walked briskly over to where he was standing and threw the chief a sharp salute. He smiled leeringly and saluted back. Aradia immediately knew what Nepeta was talking about earlier. He looked like a desperate, sleazy person.

Aradia then turned and threw a salute at the mayor. Feferi gave her a huge grin and waved.

“Mayor Piexes, Chief Ampora, this is Officer Megido. She just signed on with us yesterday.” Equius said.

  


  
  


  


Feferi gasped and immediately looked concerned. “I heard you ran into trouble out there! Is everything okay?”

“No injuries ma'am. Officer Captor was with me as well.”

She heard a click behind her as, she assumed, Sollux threw a salute as well.

“Well, that's good. Sollux is a good officer to have watching out for you. Hopefully Sergeant Zahhak here hasn't been giving you too hard a time.” She looked meaningfully at Equius, who began to sweat visibly. Aradia took some small amount of pity on him.

“No more than any other boss I've had at any other job, ma'am.”

Feferi smiled and Equius exhaled.

“Glad to hear it! Equius tends to ride his officers hard, but only because I'm sure he thinks them capable of it. He never asks for anything he doesn’t expect from himself.”

Aradia didn't quite believe that, but she kept her mouth shut and just nodded.

“For example, he expects his officers to know everyone in the room already,” came a voice over to the side.

Equius winced. “Forgive me. Officer Megido, this is Terezi Pyrope, prosecuting attorney.”

A lawyer, that explained a lot. Aradia didn't know what the protocol was for attorneys, but she figured it was better to be safe than sorry and threw Terezi a salute as well. Terezi threw an exaggerated salute back in response with a big grin on her face. Feferi giggled.

“Terezi here gets involved whenever Vriska is brought up. She'd just like to ask the two of you a few questions, while Eridan, Equius, and I sort out what to do about your car,” she said.

Aradia and Sollux nodded, and they both turned and followed Terezi to the other side of the lobby. At some point, Nepeta had snuck in wearing a neatly tailored green suit and was following Sollux. She jogged over to Aradia and stood on her toes to whisper in her ear.

“Don't worry too much about Terezi. She looks scary, and acts that way sometimes too, but she treats her friends well.”

Aradia just nodded and they gathered in a circle.

“Now,” Terezi clapped her hands together and turned to Aradia, “what do you know about Vriska already?”

“Um...I know she's called the Mad Russian. She's violent, mercenary, and I think I heard that she has a gambling problem. Oh, and she shot a hole in my hat.”

“Better than your head.” Terezi grinned. Aradia had to agree. Terezi continued.

“A few things you might not know then. She was fighter in the Russian Civil War on the side of the anti-Bolsheviks. She was a young teen when she picked up a gun and joined the fight. Now she has ties with the Midnight Crew and works for Karkat Vantas.”

“Who?”

Nepeta spoke up this time. “He's the head of a gang of bootleggers, ones that usually keep their head down. They're pretty low on our priority list.”

“We were all surprised when Vriska started working for Karkat,” Sollux said, “He's not usually the kind of person to use Vriska's methods.”

“If you know that she's working for them, why don't you just go arrest them?”

“Knowing and proving are two different things.” Terezi frowned. “I tried to put Vriska away on murder a year ago. It got dropped.”

“You never got over that, did you?” Nepeta asked.

“No! She was guilty as sin and she got off on a stupid technicality!” She glared. “Point is that we can't move until we have some solid proof.”

Aradia look worried. “I don't think I'm going to be much help...”

Terezi calmed down a bit. “Look, I'm not expecting you to hand me a signed confession. I just want to know what direction she was coming from when you saw her and what direction she was driving when you lost her.”

“Well, she wasn't driving. She was too busy shooting at us.”

Terezi waved her hand dismissively.

“I misspoke. Tavros was probably driving but that's not-”

“Tavros! That's who that was! I knew I recognized him!” Aradia shouted. Now everyone in the room was looking at her. Aradia started to look embarrassed but Terezi held up her hand to stop her from apologizing.

“You know Tavros Nitram?” she asked.

“Knew him is more accurate. We were friends when we were younger. We practically grew up together, but we lost touch years ago.” She rubbed her head. “Good God, what's someone like Tavros doing with Vriska?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Tavros was always...” Aradia tried to think of how to say this diplomatically, “...he wasn't an aggressive person by any stretch of the word. He spent his time...doing things like reading stories.”

Terezi looked at Nepeta and Sollux with a wide grin, then she looked back at Aradia.

“Think you can find out what your old friend has been up to?”

“Sure, I can knock on some doors.”

By this time, Feferi had walked over to the group. “You'll do better than that. We'll turn the investigation over to you.”

“Me?” Aradia said, surprised.

“Her?” Eridan and Equius said at the same time, even more surprised. Feferi turned on them.

“Well you two haven't been able to go anywhere with it. She knows people that are currently close to Vriska, and if she wanted to do any investigating, she would have to do it through you two. I'm cutting out the middle troll and putting her in charge.” She turned back to Aradia. “Well?”

“With all due respect ma'am, I'm...inexperienced.”

She looked at the two trolls behind Feferi. While Equius simply looked flustered and slightly annoyed, the look Eridan was giving her was positively venomous. He must have had a lot riding on this investigation.

“It might be better to leave something this important in the hands of more senior officers.” Aradia added.

“Nonsense!” Feferi waved her hand. “It might be good to have a fresh look at this case.”

“Feferi, I have to agree with her,” Eridan said. Aradia noted how he used her first name. “I'm close to pinning her down, and having a rookie involved will only throw all my hard work off.”

Feferi turned on him. “You've been 'close to pinning her down' for months, Eridan! We tried it your way. Now we're going to let Officer Megido here take a look into it and I want your cooperation! Will I get it?”

“Feferi, I really don't think this is a good...”

“Eridan!”

Eridan sighed. “Okay, okay, I'll send her my files. Under protest.”

“Noted.” Feferi bit off the word. She looked at Equius. “Any problems?”

Equius saluted. “No ma'am. She's one of my officers and will have my full support on the matter.”

“Good!” She clapped her hands and turned back to Aradia. “Well? I know it's a big demand for someone so new, but will you take the case?”

Aradia looked at each troll one by one. Eridan was still looking angry. Equius' face was hard to read, but it wasn't annoyed. Terezi was smirking, Nepeta looked like she was about to burst from glee and Sollux looked more nervous than anything else. Aradia turned to Feferi.

“I won't let you down, ma'am.”

*

Rose was still sitting at the table from before when Kanaya walked up and sat down. She had been in the back room taking stock of their inventory, and by the time she had finished, most everyone else had gone home or were engrossed in their own things. John and Dave were washing glasses and Jade was tormenting Karkat about...something Kanaya didn't catch. Tavros and Gamzee had left. Rose looked up at Kanaya.

“Should we be okay for tomorrow?”

“Between what you and Karkat brought in and what just came out of the still, we should be fine.” Kanaya nodded, but despite the good news, she chewed her lip nervously.

“What's bothering you, Kanaya?”

“What? Oh. Nothing.”

“You have many talents, Kanaya, but lying isn't one of them.”

Kanaya blushed. “Actually, I wanted to ask a small favor.”

Rose raised an eyebrow in anticipation.

“Could you...tell me a fortune?”

“A two bit fortune a the dollar one?” Rose asked slowly.

“The, um, dollar fortune.”

Rose looked at Kanaya for a few seconds and then shrugged.

“You don't normally ask me for favors like this, so this one I'll give you. I give you my standard warning though.” Rose waved a finger at Kanaya. “Be careful what truths you wish for.”

Kanaya nodded. Rose reached down into her bag and pulled out a white box, about an inch thick by six inches long by four inches wide. With some ceremony, she flipped the top of the box open, tapped the bottom of the box, and then pulled out an oversized deck of cards by grabbing the inch or so that was revealed from the tap.

Rose carefully set the box to the side and shuffled the cards. It was an odd shuffled, that not only mixed the cards, but randomly flipped some around as well. Rose had a vacant, unfocused look on her face as her hands moved with practiced speed.

“What do you want the great old spirits to reveal?” she breathed. She sounded like she was half asleep.

Kanaya took a deep breath. “There are...two different people...whom I desire a future with.”

Rose gave a weak little smile, causing Kanaya to blush. Rose didn't stop shuffling.

“Matters of love, then?”

“Yes. I wish to know...which future has the most happiness?”

“Any chance you'll tell me who these two people are?”

“I'd rather not.”

“Do they know your feelings?”

“No.”

Gracefully, Rose flipped four cards on to the table. Two pairs.

One pair had the Inverted Queen of Coins and the Nine of Swords. The other pair was the Inverted Queen of Wands and the Two of Coins.

“The future of your two prospective loves,” Rose explained.

“The Inverted Queen of Coins is someone who places all value on material possessions. Someone who spends their money on showy things. Displays of wealth. This person is also suspicious of change or things that don't fit their worldview. In this persons future is deception, scandal, violence and loss.”

“Not a good choice then.” Kanaya sighed.

Rose shrugged. “All these things can be overcome. The Nine of Swords is sometimes called the card of the martyr. Suffering may give way to good things in the end.”

Rose gestured to the other pair and continued.

“The Inverted Queen of Wands is someone who can be envious, bitter, dry, and imagining threats that might not be there. The Two of Coins represents drastic change. It could be for better or for worse, but things will need to be handled carefully.”

Kanaya looked despondent. Rose gave a sad smile.

“You've always had a weakness for trouble cases, haven't you Kanaya?”

“I...suppose so.” Kanaya sighed again.

Rose thought for a few seconds.

“I'll draw one more card,” She said. “Maybe it will help clear things up.”

Rose flicked her wrist and one card slid onto the center of the table. The Tower. Rose's eyes narrowed.

“Disruption. Change. A sudden, violent loss.”

She looked up at Kanaya's face, now wearing a mask of dread.

“Looks like you may have your choice made for you.”

*

“Fifty, pass line,” Vriska said, placing her chips on the table. About ten other people, man and troll, were standing around the craps table. The stickman was a short, relaxed gentleman with a green suit and a solid, blue hat. They all threw their bets on the table. Vriska looked at the stickman. The stickman looked back at her.

“Yes?”

“The dice, sleepyhead.”

“Oh.”

The stickman showed her a small bowl of five dice. Vriska grabbed two of them. She gently rolled them around in her hand and snapped her wrist, sending them bouncing along the table. Everyone craned their heads to see the result.

After a few seconds, the stickman spoke up.

“Point is eight.”

Vriska grinned. “My lucky number.”

“We'll see.” The stickman raked the diced back in and handed them back to Vriska. Vriska didn't even bother to shake them. She just snapped her wrist again and sent them rolling. Sure enough, eight dots stared back at them.

“Ha! Pay up slowpoke.”

The stickman frowned at her, but he slowly counted out her chips and handed them to her.

“You've been winning a lot tonight.”

“I guess you can just call me Lady Luck.” Vriska smiled.

“We'll see.”

The stickman raked in the dice again and handed them to Vriska. Vriska rattled them around in her hands a second.

She froze.

Vriska rattled the dice in her hands again. She glared and the stickman, reached in her coat, and drew a revolver.

“Do you know what happened to the last stickman who tried to slip me loaded dice?”

The stickman looked down the barrel of the gun and Vriska cocked the hammer.

“Uh...no.”

“Right. Neither does anyone else!”

“Oh...shi-” The stickman was cut off by a loud bang. His head jerked backwards and he fell to the ground. Most of the back of his head was missing. The casino was dead silent. She waved her gun at the cooling green torso.

“Can I have a new stickman please? This one has a hole in it.”

She looked around the room. There was a wide circle around her. She saw more green suits coming from the back of the casino.

“On second thought, I think this game is over,” She said, tucking her gun back into her coat. She picked up her winnings and walked over to the pay counter. The poor girl working the counter was shaking violently.

“Cash me out.”

“But-”

“Now.”

The girl quickly sorted the chips by color and counted out a thick wad of money, shoving it in Vriska's hand.

“Pleasure.” Vriska smiled. She tucked the money in a pocket and stalked quickly out of the casino.

One of the green suited men watched her leave. He had a maroon hat. The man sighed. He wasn't looking forward to the boss's reaction.

*

Crowbar had only two people he considered his superiors. He stood outside the office of one of them. He took a deep breath and raised his hand to knock.

“Come in, Crowbar.”

Crowbar hated when that happened. He lowered his unused hand and opened the door.

Everything in the room was green. The carpet. The wallpaper, even the furniture were all money green. There was a green couch and a green table with a bowl of candy sitting in the middle. Crowbar never got up the nerve to have one. He walked past an antique globe as he approached the desk.

Behind the green desk sat a pale, completely bald man with a round face and a white suit. He leaned his chin on his folded hands and leveled his gaze at Crowbar. Crowbar swallowed.

“Doc Scratch, we have a problem.”

“I don't like problems, Crowbar,” Doc Scratch said, as if he was commenting on the weather.

“You don't like being left in the dark either.”

“True. Continue.”

“The Mad Russian was gambling in our casino last night.”

“She has a name, Crowbar. Vriska Serket.”

“You know her...” Crowbar pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course he knew her name. Crowbar continued.

“Anyway, she's been winning a lot of money.”

“That's not a problem. Seeing a big winner makes more people bet. We make more money in the long run,” Scratch said calmly.

“Yeah, well, Doze didn't agree with you. He tried to slip her some funny dice at the craps table.”

“I see. Tried. I'm assuming Doze is no longer with us.”

“Well...uh...yeah.”

Scratch sighed. “Vriska is...predictable. When she feels wronged, she lashes out without thinking. She seems intent on spreading the pain she feels. What happened then, Crowbar?”

“She cashed out her winnings and left.”

“You let her leave?”

“She was gone before we could get through the crowd, boss, honest.”

Doc Scratch slowly tapped his fingers together, thinking.

“Winning money is one thing, but we can not allow someone like that to strike at our organization without consequence. Other people will start getting...ideas. We are already being pressured by our boys and girls in blue, Crowbar.”

“I agree, boss. I can have the boys together in ten minutes.”

“Patience, Crowbar. I've received some interesting information late this morning.”

“What kind of information, Boss?”

“Nothing for you to worry about, Crowbar. Just remember that, while the early bird gets the worm, it's the second mouse that gets the cheese. Please let Snowman know I want to see her in an hour on your way out.”

Crowbar opened his mouth to say something, but Scratch put his hand up and cut him off.

“Don't let me detain you. I need to make some calls.”

“I...yes, boss.”

*

Night had fallen on The Loaded Key and the building was quickly filling up with patrons, upstairs and down. Although Karkat didn't like it, many customers brought their drinks upstairs to listen to music. The smoky club went quiet and four human members of Karkat's gang took the stage, along with Kanaya in the front. For a few seconds, the only sound was the occasional cough and the clinking of glass. Then the music started up, and Kanaya started singing, her fangs glinting in the darkness.

“Say, did you ever hear the saxophone, let out an awful moan, let out an awful groan?  
It makes you feel so nervous, yet it's great. It's the saxophone a-callin' to its mate.  
Lest we forget, The clarinet. Now listen for a minute and the birth of jazz you'll hear,  
And where there is a little jazz, you'll always find me near,  
For I'm a jazz vampire.”

Down in the basement room, Karkat and Gamzee tended the bar. Karkat moved with almost mechanical precision, making drinks and counting change with practiced accuracy. Gamzee worked with a little more flair, juggling bottles and pouring several drinks in quick succession. Karkat complained the first time Gamzee started his bar tricks, but Gamzee rarely dropped a bottle and the customers liked them. Sometimes they would order more complex and expensive cocktails just to see Gamzee make them.

“Shake a foot, shake a foot, shake a foot with me and dance, dance.  
Dancing is my specialty. Wise men keep out o' my way.  
They know I'll lead 'em astray. They fall the minute I sway.  
I insist you can't resist a jazz vampire.”

When one of the cash boxes got full enough, Karkat or Gamzee would yell “Box change!” and toss the cash box into the room behind the bar. There, Tavros would catch the heavy box and toss out an empty one. He would quickly count out the money, tally it, and put it in the big, black iron safe. The now empty box would replace the next full one that got tossed back.

“Take a tip, take a tip, take a tip from me, for I am all the evil music has.  
Went down to the river, stood on the bank. Shook my shoulders and the boats all sank,  
For I'm the meanest kind of jazz vampire.”

Surprisingly, Vriska was nowhere to be seen. She could usually be relied upon to show a little iron at these things to keep the crowds in check. Karkat assumed that she was patrolling the area for signs of police activity. Most of the crowd knew Vriska's reputation by now and trouble was rarely raised, even if she wasn't visible at the time, so Karkat wasn't overly concerned. With how fast drink orders were coming in, he didn't have much time to think about it.

“I'm the wicked vampire of jazz...”

*

Vriska sat in her little hide-away down the street from the club. It was a small, untidy apartment in a cheap part of the city. Vriska rarely cleaned up after herself. However, she had cleared off the table and a few chairs for her company. A tall thin man and a short fat one sat at her table.

“Long time, no see, Vriska.”

“Droogs. Deuce.” she nodded to the tall man and the short man respectively.

“How's working with Karkat's boys working out for you?” Droogs asked.

Vriska shrugged. “Fun sometimes. And the money is good. I don't want to be rude, but...”

The short man chuckled. “Straight to business?”

Droogs shrugged. “Fair enough.”

He swung a long, black case on the table and flipped in open. Droogs pulled out a big, nasty looking gun. It was long, bulky, and solidly built.

“M1918 Browning Automatic Rifle, American version. Thirty-aught-six Springfield ammo in twenty round magazines. I couldn't get my hands on the forty round magazines.”

“Pity.” Vriska picked up the gun and looked down the sights with a huge grin on her face

“Twenty rounds from this thing is overkill in the first place, and I told you the forty round magazines were a long shot. You get the gun, shoulder strap, an extra barrel, ten magazines and a thousand rounds of ammo.”

“Perfect, Droogs. Same price as we agreed before?”

“Five hundred,” Droogs clarified to be sure. He found that sometimes his customers could have an awful memory for money.

“That's a lot of money.”

“That's a lot of gun.”

Vriska grinned and tossed a stack of bills on the table.

“Worth every penny.”

Deuce picked up the wad and quickly flipped through the bills with his thumb. He looked up at Droogs and nodded. Droogs nodded back. He turned to Vriska.

“Any particular reason for the purchase?”

“You, of all people, should know that it's all about style, Droogs. Dress for success. And I like looking scary. You know me. I never do anything halfway.”

She pulled the trigger and listened to the click.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick translation of Vriska's Russian:  
> preeyatyel - male friend  
> krasavets - hansom man  
> sovests - conscience


	2. Dominoes and Roulette

It was a couple weeks into the investigation and Aradia was starting to think this whole thing was a huge mistake. She had managed to track down a few places were Tavros had lived, but it seems he dropped off the map soon after he met Vriska. A couple years ago, he was seen in a hospital getting treated for his back injury that put him in a wheelchair. That surprised Aradia. She wondered how he could drive without working legs.

There wasn't a lot of information on Vriska either. Aradia got what she assumed was all the information Eridan and Equius had managed to collect on Vriska, and it wasn't a lot. The paper trail seemed to stop after her immigration papers, about which there was nothing suspicious. Aradia actually spent a lot of time talking with Terezi about Vriska.

“Vriska used to be a close friend of mine.”

“Wait, really?”

“Oh yes. I met her pretty soon after she got off the boat. There was a...tenacity about her I admired. She played bounty hunter for me a few times when the police were dragging their feet on some of the gangsters that they had filling their pockets. This was before Feferi was elected. Vriska usually brought them in in once piece. ” Terezi grinned her shark grin.

“So what happened?”

“She started getting careless. Bystanders were getting killed. People who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Most of the time it was written off as collateral damage and she didn't care. I finally had her brought in on murder charges after a particularly nasty incident in a restaurant.”

Terezi sighed.

“It was revealed that some of the evidence...bent some of the more useless rules a bit in order to be presented on time. Important evidence. It was deemed unusable and she was acquitted because of it.”

Aradia wasn't very surprised, but she didn't say anything. Terezi's zealotry in the courtroom was legendary. When she was convinced someone was guilty, she would stop at nothing to have them put behind bars.

“She laughed at me as she walked out,” Terezi growled. “I'll make her pay for that.”

From some of their other conversations, Aradia learned some things about Vriska: she was indeed a gambling addict, liking games of chance with high stakes; she rarely thought before she acted, but she could be very smart under pressure; she had a sadistic streak.

But it was mostly rumors and hearsay. Her victims were usually associated with people who didn't talk to police, and she couldn't find anything like a permanent address or a hospital record. It was all getting very frustrating.

Then one day when she came in for her shift, dreading having to tell Equius that she just wasn't having any luck, she spotted a thick envelope on her desk. She walked over and picked it up, reading what was written on front.

“From a man of wealth and taste.”

*

Except for regular shows, things had become pretty quiet at The Loaded Key over the past few weeks. Even so, Karkat noticed that things were changing.

Vriska and John seemed to be spending more time together. Going out drinking, gambling, and seeing crummy moving pictures. Karkat imagined that Vriska knew just about every Charlie Chaplin movie by now and John had been introduced to a whole new world of games of chance.

As a result, Vriska seemed to have narrowed her mean streak a bit, even after buying her new toy. Maybe it was the new toy that helped too. When you had a gun that big slung on your back while working security, people rarely caused trouble. Even so, Vriska was a little more quick to twist an arm instead of showing some steel when trouble started. People actually got warnings.

Karkat remembered the morning after one particularly rough night, John took Vriska aside.

“Don't you think you're being a little...harsh? Some of these guys just want to have a good time.”

And the weird part? Vriska actually listened.

“Well, what do you expect me to do? They're high on booze and short on temper. ”

“You know, it's amazing what a smile and a kind word will do to calm someone down.”

“Like this?” Her fangs glinted.

“...Maybe a bit less...friendly.” John actually took a step back.

Of course, that brought up some problems too. Rose had been snippy and passive aggressive. She wouldn't dare stand between John and Vriska happiness, even if the way she said it could etch metal. She gave both of them the silent treatment, even if they had no idea what the problem was. It infuriated Karkat, who was less passive and more aggressive.

Kanaya was mopey and withdrawn. She spent less time socializing and more time on her hobbies. She turned out new dresses at record speed and always seemed to have her nose in some kind of book. She was sitting at the bar one time, who despite her profession rarely drank and asked Karkat for a Virgin Bloody Mary, when Karkat finally got fed up and decided it was time to play bartender therapist.

“Okay, what's eating you lately?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Kanaya said, looking away.

“Bullshit,” Karkat responded quickly, “I've seen less of you the past month than I usually do in a day.”

“It's...personal problems. I don't think you would understand.”

“I wouldn't, huh? Let me take a wild fucking guess.”

Karkat put his fingertips on his forehead and waved his other hand around in his best Rose fortune telling impersonation.

“You're been carrying a torch for Vriska for God knows how long and never got anywhere with it because you play it coy and Vriska wouldn't recognize a hint if you tied it to a brick and dropped it on her fucking head from a third story window. You started to get attracted to Rose too because you have a thing for dark and mysterious women for reasons I will never understand and Rose has that in fucking cartloads. Unfortunately Vriska and John seem to be a thing now and Rose is miss emotionally constipated because...fuck if I know...she has issues with emotional sincerity. Or she was raised by fucking wolves. Anyway. Rose is pining for John and therefore you think she isn't attracted to girls. And so with both of your romantic interests out of the picture, you resign yourself to being life's romantic wallflower.”

Karkat put his hands down, leaned on the bar, and looked Kanaya in her now wide open eyes.

“Am I somewhere in the same fucking time zone here?”

Kanaya very nearly bit a chunk out of her glass. Karkat had just laid all her emotions and secrets on the table in one go! She was only glad that no one else was around to hear it.

“But...but...how?!”

“You fuckers think I don't pay attention. I listen to people talk. I can read body language. You think I don't see how you never want to go anywhere with us when John and Vriska are with us too? You think I don't see the way you look at Rose when you're over there being the supportive friend? I've looked at fucking steaks the way you stare at that girl.”

“Just what do you take me for?” Kanaya said accusingly.

“How many of those revealing dresses you put out these past couple weeks are for Rose when you get up the fucking courage to give them to her?”

Kanaya glared at Karkat. Karkat raised an eyebrow back at her. After a long silence, Kanaya held up four fingers.

“That's what I thought. I'll bet my last God-damned dollar that they fit her perfectly too.”

“Alright mister romance expert, what do you suppose I should do then?”

“Tell Rose how you feel! Maybe she can stop being miss fucking ice queen and you can stop being a little black raincloud if you both go in the storage room and wrestle lips behind the God-damned gin for an hour. Fuck, I'll even lend you the key so I can get on with my life instead of having to watch this fucking train wreck play out.”

Kanaya flushed deeply and tried her best to look indignant instead of just embarrassed.

“Well, what if she doesn't like girls? Then things will be awkward and we won't be friends anymore.”

“Says who? Maybe she'll just say 'No thanks.' Maybe she'll say 'No thanks' at first and then warm up to the idea as John and Vriska start making out behind the fucking bar. Maybe she had a thing for you all along and never realized it. Maybe she never even fucking thought about it!”

Karkat grabbed the edge of the bar, crouched down behind it, and looked at Kanaya with exaggerated horror.

“How could we ever fucking know for sure?! It's almost like we would have to do something as crazy as run air past our vocal organs to make strange sounds that can be interpreted as communication! Madness!”

“Are you quite done?”

Karkat shrugged and returned to cleaning glasses. He had said his piece.

Kanaya sat in thought for a long time, slowly stirring her drink with a stick of celery.

“...So just...ask her,” Kanaya said, as if she was trying out a new idea.

“Well, go have a girl's night out or something. Go to a fucking book store. Get dinner. Something. Bring it up when there aren't a lot of fucking people around and you've run out of things to talk about.”

Kanaya sat in thought again.

“...You would really lend me the key?”

“I'd even let you take a bottle of wine out of the back.” Karkat sighed He seemed to realize what he was saying and added, “If that meant keeping you two out of my god-damned hair for a while.”

Kanaya smiled at him.

*

Biscuits was antsy. He had been told to scout out The Loaded Key for the rest of the Felt, and he found out some interesting things: like the secret door to the underground section that was in a building across the street from the club, or the fact that they had a still. He even managed to get a good idea of where Vriska and Jade patrolled.

Not a perfect idea mind you.

“Mind telling me what you're doing with those binoculars, buddy?” He heard the high-pitched voice of a girl behind him say.

“None of your business, girly. Shove off.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, might get hurt hanging out here in dark alleys. Heh.”

“I brought protection.”

That's when Biscuits heard the shotgun cock. He turned slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements, and stared down the barrel of an old pump action Browning. On the other end of the gun was a small girl with black hair and glasses. She loved this gun. The wasted shell was worth the effect the sound gave.

“Uh...”

“Green suit. Goofy hat. Not great for spying. You must be Felt.”

“Uh...no?”

“Well gosh, you're just too quick for me. Obviously you're just a dog catcher in a green suit.” She gave her most innocent buck-toothed grin.

“Then can I go...” He was cut off by Jade jabbing the end of the shotgun in his chest.

“Walk.” She gave him a sweet smile again. “And if you try to make a break for it, just remember that I have slugs loaded in this thing. That means I can pop your fucking head like an overripe melon from seventy-five yards. Kay? Kay.”

They both marched inside the empty club and down the back stairs. As they got to the basement, Biscuits could see that the gang was all here. Dave, Karkat, John, and Tavros were playing cards. Rose, and Kanaya were looking over something Rose had written, leaving Vriska and Gamzee laughing about something at the bar.

“Hey fuckasses! Look what I found outside.”

They all looked up to the top of the stairway at the same time.

“Is that...uh...one of the Felt?”

“What was your first tip-off Tavros?” Karkat snapped. He wasn't in a good mood with Tavros at the moment. The big horned troll was currently holding a lot of Karkat's chips in front of him.

“Well...uh...they all wear those green-”

“That was a rhetorical question, you fucking...” Karkat sighed and rubbed his face. He waved at Jade.

“Bring him down here. Let's ask this genius a few questions.”

The entire gang slowly stood up and formed a semi-circle around one of the big tables as Jade marched Biscuits down the stairs and over to the table. She pointed to a chair and jabbed him in the back with the gun barrel again. Biscuits slumped in his chair. He was not feeling too good about his chances of spending the bonus that was promised him. Karkat sat at the opposite end of the table, flanked on each side by the others.

“Alright, let's start easy. Why were you creeping around outside?”

“That's easy?” Biscuits looked nervous. Karkat nodded to Jade, who was still standing behind Biscuits. Jade's hand moved like rattlesnake. Biscuits jerked forward, his head slamming into the table. His hat fell off and rolled to the ground.

“Ow! Hey. My hat!”

“Answer the fucking question.”

Biscuits growled and looked around the table. Finally he pointed to Vriska.

“I'm here because of her.”

They all looked at Vriska. She put her hands up defensively.

“Hey! Hey! I'm not working with these jokers.”

“No, but you blew away Doze,” Biscuits said accusingly, “A month ago, right in front of a whole bunch of people.”

John looked at her sadly. “Did you really do that?”

“John, _krasavets_ , it's not like that. They were running a crooked operation! Stealing money with loaded dice and marked cards. They're the Felt. They're all crooked. It's not like I hurt anyone innocent.”

John sighed. “I don't even care about that. You just, blew up without thinking. And now it's coming back to bite you. All of us. This is what I was telling you about.”

Karkat was rubbing his temples. “Will you two fucking lovebirds save it for after we've interrogated our prisoner?”

“You're dating this crazy broad?” Biscuits looked and John, “Do you get off on playing with fire or something?”

“ _Tebya ne ebut, ti ne podmakhivai!_ ” Vriska spat at him. Karkat wasn't sure what she said, but he could guess that he wouldn't find some of those words in a Russian to English dictionary.

“Besides, we're cheats? You were winning at dice hand over fist. No one's that lucky.”

Vriska narrowed her eyes at him. Her voice dropped barley above a whisper. “Yes. I. Am.”

“Bullshit,” Biscuits said. But his heart wasn't into it. It was starting to dawn on him that he'd been arguing with a known killer. His stomach dropped out when Vriska smiled nastily at him.

"Okay, tough lucky guy. Lets play a little game then. A game of chance,” she said

Karkat looked at her bug eyed “A game? You really ARE fucking mental.”

“Trust me, Karkat.”

“Like hell I'm going to...” But John put a hand on Karkat's shoulder. Karkat looked up at him for a few seconds.

“You're just as crazy as she is, Egbert. Fine.” He got up and waved a finger at John. “But if this gets out of hand, it's on YOUR fucking head.”

All of the rest of the gang backed away from the table, letting Vriska take center stage.

“Well, which is it? Game of chance? Or answer questions? You can stop one to do the other whenever you want.”

Biscuits thought it over. He didn't like the way this was going, but if he talked and Snowman found out, he didn't even have a chance.

“Game.”

“Good choice! Like roulette?”

“Uh...well...yeah. I didn't think you guys had a wheel. You do drinks, not gambling, right?”

“Oh, that game. No. Where I come from, we play with higher stakes.”

Vriska smiled and pulled out her revolver. She popped it open the cylinder and let the bullets clatter to the table. Biscuits watched, mesmerized. Vriska took her time picking up one of the bullets and sliding it back in the cylinder. She flicked her wrist and the gun clacked shut. She set her thumb on the cylinder and flicked it.

“Round and round she goes. Where she stops, nobody knows.”

She finally let the cylinder stop spinning and looked at Biscuits.

“Now. Let me explain the rules. You have a gun with one bullet.” She held up the pistol. “No one knows where the bullet is. We each take turns. All you have to do is pull back the hammer, like this. Put the gun to your head, like this.”

She put the gun to her own temple.

“And...”

Click.

“Oh God,” Kanaya gasped.

“Vriska...” John said warningly.

“Got it?” Vriska asked Biscuits. Biscuits just stared at her with horror.

“Uh...uh...”

Vriska looked at him with a hurt look on her face.

“You mean you weren’t paying attention? Okay, I'll show you one more time. Watch closely now. You pull back the hammer, like this. You put the gun to your head, like this.”

Again she placed it at her own temple.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit...” Jade was breathing to herself over and over.

“Vriska, this is very reckless,” Rose said with what she hoped was a calm tone.

“Uh...Vriska? Is this really a good idea?” Tavros asked quietly.

“And...”

Click.

Everyone in the room winced.

“Lord have mercy!” Gamzee, jerked back, grabbed his own head and was actually dancing around from sheer nerves.

Karkat yanked John over and hissed in his ear.

“Are you really going to let this fucking lunacy keep going?”

John held up a hand.

“Relax,” He whispered back very quietly, “I think she palmed the bullet.”

“She what?”

“It's not really loaded.”

“Really?”

John nodded, but he didn't look too sure of himself. Karkat looked at him suspiciously.

Vriska smiled at Biscuits.

“Your turn. Now, I don't trust you enough to give you my gun, so I'll just go for you.” She leveled the revolver at Biscuits' head.

She pulled back the hammer with her thumb. Everyone could hear it click into place, it was so quiet.

Biscuits was shaking violently. Somehow, this was worse than if she just held a fully loaded gun to his head. She shot that thing at herself twice. She wouldn't be bluffing about shooting it at him.

Her grip shifted slightly and she started to squeeze the trigger.

“They wanted me to scout the place out!” Biscuits said quickly.

Vriska lowered the gun.

“Who did?” Karkat asked.

“It...it was Snowman. She was taking orders from Doc Scratch. It came right from the top.”

“What kind of stuff did they want to know?” Rose asked this time.

“Like...where you were bringing booze into the building. When you served drinks. What kind of weapons you have. That kind of thing”

“Probably wanted to tip off the cops,” Dave shrugged.

“Yeah. Wrong people showing up at the wrong time would be bad news for us,” Jade said.

Tavros didn't look too sure. “Then... uh ...why would he need to know what weapons we had?”

“Friendly fucking tip to the cops?” Gamzee shrugged.

“I don't think so,” Karkat said. He turned back to Biscuits.

“Why were you scouting the place out? Trying to steal our customers? Tipping off the cops?”

“Uh... I can't...”

Vriska grinned. “Game on then.”

She didn't even wait for the suspense to build. She just leveled the gun and squeezed.

Click.

Biscuits winced.

“Well! Lucky, lucky.” Vriska smiled. “My turn.”

“Jesus Christ, Vriska,” Dave said.

Vriska pulled the hammer back and put the gun to the side of her head. Biscuits stared at her with a look of horror on his face.

“Luck be a lady tonight...” Vriska said quietly.

John started forward. “Vriska, this isn't...”

“No! NO!” Kanaya practically shrieked.

Click.

Everyone in the room froze.

Vriska didn't even flinch.

“Well, this IS getting suspenseful, isn't it? Two shots left.” Vriska waved the gun around. “Your turn.”

She leveled the gun. She slowly pulled the hammer back with her thumb. She stared down the sights at him. She slowly, smoothly started to squeeze the trigger. And...

“A raid!” Biscuits waved his hands frantically in front of him. “They're going to raid the place! They're going to wait until you're all here and murder all of you! They wanted me to find out when you would be here and good ways in and out of the building!”

That wasn't good news.

“How many?” Karkat asked.

“The whole rack of 'em as far as I know. Snowman at the front.”

That really wasn't good news. Snowman was death walking.

“When?” Karkat barked.

“I don't know. I really don't know!” He shouted the second sentence to Vriska as her gun hand started moving again. “They said they were waiting for something. A police investigation or something like that. That's all I know, I swear to God.”

Vriska looked at Rose, who was staring Biscuits down.

“He's telling the truth,” Rose said.

“I swear I am. I told you everything. I did what you asked. Can I go now?”

“Nope,” Karkat said simply.

“What?!”

“Your boss can't know that we know you're going to fucking hit us, and we'll have one less of you fuckers to worry about come game time. We're going to say we killed you for spying on us and leave it at that. Fuck, we'll say Vriska got you. That way they'll think we didn't have time to question you. John? Jade? Take this fat fuck somewhere for a nice, quiet execution.”

Biscuits just stared blankly as John nodded solemnly.

Biscuits got up and shoved his chair backwards, hitting Jade hard enough to wind her. He went tearing to the stairway as fast as his legs could carry him. Vriska, with a gun in her hand already cocked, acted reflexively.

Bang.

Biscuits jerked forward and slumped to the ground.

“You okay Jade?” Vriska asked. Jade wheezed, but she nodded. Vriska looked over to John.

“Not a bad shot for...” She trailed off. John was staring at her gun with a look of absolute horror.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Bloody Mary as we know it today wasn't really popular until around 1939. I couldn't resit the pun though, so I took some artistic liberties.
> 
> More Russian to English.  
> krasavets - Handsome Man  
> Tebya ne ebut, ti ne podmakhivai! - (Roughly) Mind your own fucking business.


	3. A Shot in the Dark

“Where did you get these?” Terezi asked with amazement in her voice. She was helping Aradia sift through the thick package of papers she had received earlier. Aradia shrugged.

“I swear, they were just on my desk when I came in this morning.”

“You want my advice? Don't tell anyone that. If anyone asks, just be evasive. They'll be happy enough for this information to not look into it too carefully, but if you just say that you don't know where it came from, they'll have to look into it,” Terezi said as she was leafing through paper. She held up one and read it carefully.

“Good God, this woman is a walking war crime. They would have never let her in the country if they knew about even half of this stuff.”

“Let me see.” Aradia took the paper and scanned it carefully.

“Wow. That's quite...impressive. But it's mostly circumstantial, and outside of our jurisdiction.”

“Enough circumstantial evidence is a pattern. That means something. And even if we can't do anything about those directly, it's character assassination. That can be a big difference in a court room,” Terezi explained.

“Well, let's keep looking anyway.”

“Agreed.”

They only had to shuffle through the papers for a few more minutes before something else interesting came up. About half the thick pile of papers turned out to be a large, folded map of the city. They took it over to a larger table, where it was spread out and examined. Certain points in the city were marked with a red X. There was one in a public park. One along some railroad tracks. One right on a recently constructed building, among others. All the X's had names and dates next to them. None of the dates were more than a few years ago.

Terezi pointed to one X.

“Wait, I know that name. He was a gangster that worked indirectly with the Felt. He dropped out of site a few years ago. We haven't seen him since. Do you think...”

“Wait, I want to check something,” Aradia said quickly as a thought struck her. She grabbed a pencil and a scrap of paper, inspected the map, and wrote down the range the dates covered. She trotted back over to her desk and grabbed Vriska's file. Aradia carried to back to the table, reading through it carefully.

“I thought so. All these dates are during the time period Vriska was supposedly working for the Midnight Crew. I'll bet even money that these names are people the midnight crew wanted gone.”

Aradia nodded at Terezi and finished what Terezi was about to say.

“Yes. I think they're where the bodies are buried.”

*

Getting the correct paperwork from City Hall was surprisingly easy when you had the right connections. They managed to get in to see Feferi directly without having to deal with Eridan, who most Aradia's teammates thought would be petty enough to hinder the investigation. In minutes, they had work orders to dig where a couple of the X's were. Feferi needed more solid evidence to authorize digging up the locations that were on private property, but if they did find something at the other locations, that would be reason enough.

A few hours later, Sollux and Equius had roped off a small section of the city park and were digging as close as they could figure the X was located. Aradia was sitting on a bench close by, making sure the ropes weren’t crossed. Terezi was leaning on the rope, watching with interest. She couldn't be inside because she technically wasn't a law enforcement officer and didn't want to risk some excuse for this evidence to get thrown out. Nepeta wasn't there at all, despite what she wanted. Equius decided she couldn't risk being seen in public with the police. She stomped her feet and pouted, but Equius held firm.

“Well, how come we have to do all the digging? That's what I want to know.” Sollux asked.

“Because we don't want any outside workers in here,” Equius replied, tossing another shovelful of dirt over his shoulder.

“Well, yeah, but Aradia could help out. It's her investigation.”

“Captor, shut up and dig.”

“Yes, sir,” Sollux grumbled. Equius had warmed up surprisingly to Aradia, despite her “shameful” blood color. Sollux didn't like it much. He hoped it was just because this was making Equius' department look good. They were digging for a few more minutes when Sollux spotted something.

“Whoa! Whoa!” He held up his hand to stop Equius, who was about to plunge the shovel into the dirt again.

“What?”

“Next to your left foot. Hang on.” Sollux scrambled out of the hole and grabbed a smaller garden trowel. Equius backed up while Sollux leaned down and gently began digging around a white patch in the dirt. Eventually, Sollux had uncovered a large bone.

“That...looks like it could be troll or human,” Equius said slowly.

“Hey! Aradia!”

Aradia trotted over and leaned on her knees looking into the hole, while Sollux dug more gently around, looking for any other body parts. Eventually, he had jabbed trowel into the dirt and hit a hard patch. After some more digging and brushing dirt away, the new discovery came fully into view.

It was a troll skull with a big hole in the back.

*

Much to Aradia's surprise, back at the station it was Nepeta who was looking over the bones they had found.

She picked up the skull gently, and turned it around, looking at it from different angles.

“Hole's in the upper part of the back of his head. No hole in the front, which is...weird.” Nepeta looked carefully through the skull's eye sockets. The picture actually gave Aradia chills.

“I see a chip on the inside of one of the eye sockets...and...another one down in there. A big one.”

She put the skull back down.

“Looks like he was shot from a high angle. Close range probably. It's a big hole,” Nepeta explained, “The bullet glanced off of the brain-pan, and came out of his right eye.”

“Close range. That's important,” Aradia said.

“Close range and high angle.” Sollux nodded, “That means whoever shot him was standing above him. It probably wasn't from a window or a roof or something if it was close range. He was on his knees.”

Realization dawned on Aradia. “He wasn't just killed. He was executed.”

“Right,” Sollux said. Nepeta nodded in agreement.

“Is there anything here that could tie this to Vriska?” Aradia asked Nepeta.

“Doesn't look like it, sorry.”

Aradia sighed.

“Well, we better tell Equius and have him tell the mayor anyway. Even if we can't prove who did it yet, finding a body is important. Not to mention the fact that we have more digging to do.”

*

Vriska was in a bad mood as she walked down the street. It was early morning and chilly, but the weather didn't bother her that much in her long trench-coat, and she kept her hat pulled down low to keep the sun out of her eyes. Trolls were known to be more light-sensitive than humans.

John had forgiven her, of course. He was nothing if not forgiving. But she still felt that she had...broken something between them. She felt like he was disappointed. She had no idea why this was so important to her suddenly. She needed him to like her, and the incident a few days ago had widened the previously closing gap between them. She thought they would think she was brave, but they all just thought she was stupid.

Maybe she was.

“Paper, miss?”

“ _Nyet._ ” Vriska held up her hand.

The boy shrugged and started waving papers around again.

“Extray! Extray! Police dig up body in Skaia Park!”

Vriska kept on asking herself how she could fix the situation. She was hoping there could be some kind of quick fix to help their relationship. It didn't look like that was going to happen though. It was going to take them some time to trust her again. She was starting to like that trust too. It was nice to not have to constantly look over her...

She stopped.

“...Wait, what?”

She turned around and ran back to the boy hawking papers.

“Wait! Wait!” She stopped in front of him and reached in her pocket. “I changed my mind. Here.”

Vriska tossed him a dime and grabbed a paper off the stack. She walked away quickly and started reading the headlines.

“ _Gavno,_ ” she hissed.

*

A couple days later, Gamzee, Tavros, John, and Dave were sitting at the bar having drinks while Karkat was playing bartender and cleaning glasses. It was almost occupational therapy for him, to clean the glasses and the bar

“She's been pretty quiet lately,” John said. He had a neat whiskey that he was slowly working through.

“Don't give a fuck.” Karkat snapped back without looking up from his work.

John looked over to Tavros. “You've known her for a while. Has she ever been like this?”

Tavros put down his drink, a sidecar, and shook his head, “No... uh... she usually get...you know... angry... not depressed. And she... uh... doesn't read newspapers.”

“Okay, look, I agree with Karkat here,” Dave said. He seemed to realize what he just said and killed the rest of his applejack before going on. Karkat poured him another, “She's a fucking lit fuse. Pressure is building and the longer she's quiet, the louder the bang is going to be.”

“Maybe she's finally, you know, getting better?” John said hopefully.

“Egbert, are you completely fucking nuts?” Dave killed his drink again. Karkat poured, “Look, I'm just telling you this because you're my best friend. You must be crazy if you still trust Vriska after that scene a few days ago.”

John shrugged. “Someone has to trust her. If no one does, she'll never have any reason to change.”

Gamzee actually nodded sagely. “I still fucking pray for the crazy bitch.”

“That... is the stupidest thing I've heard you say. Fucking... give me another drink, Karkat, you asshole.”

“How many of those fucking things have you had, Strider?”

“Fuck should I know? You've been serving them.”

“I didn't ask how many I served you, Strider. I asked how many you fucking drank.”

“Okay, look, asshole. I can still kick your ass in a fight even if there are two of you.”

John sighed and looked back at Gamzee. “You really think there's hope?”

Gamzee took another belt of wine and smiled. “Sure. There's always fucking hope, man.”

Gamzee suddenly looked very serious. “That's... one thing the Bishop, the old goat taught me, even if he didn't mean to. That, no matter how many fucking scars you get, and no matter how fucking worthless you are, and no matter how much of a fucking sinner you are, there's hope. Anyone can make themselves worth something.” He shook his head. “I told him...I would even be a reverend someday. Even with all the shit he gave me.”

Gamzee was staring off in the distance. The rest of the gang stopped and looked at him. He seemed to snap out of it and gave a big, goofy grin.

“Hey, I believe in fucking miracles after all.” He took another drink and smiled. “Motherfuckers are everywhere.”

*

“Well...” Rose said as she held her coffee in front of her, “...I think the first books that really got me reading were the World of Oz books from when I was a kid.”

Kanaya and Rose were sitting in a small cafe, down the street from the book-store they were just visiting. They had some of their new purchases stacked on the seats next to them.

“My mother had gotten me one of them as some... little present to go along with the other ones. After that, I just had to mention some interest in other books, Alice in Wonderland, a Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, and they were in my room the next day. I tried not to let that ruin the experience for me though.”

Kanaya nodded. She had known by now that Rose resented her mother showering her with anything she could possibly want. She thought it was some insinuation that she wouldn't be able to get these things otherwise.

“What about you?”

Kanaya shrugged. “I've always liked horror books. Bram Stoker's Dracula of course. Edgar Allan Poe. Lovecraft.”

“Who was that last one?”

“Oh! I think you'll like him,” Kanaya said, “I'll lend you some of my Dream Cycle books.”

“Thank you.” Rose sighed and looked around, finishing her coffee.

“Well, this has been a fun evening,” Rose said.

“Actually, there is one thing I wanted to ask you,” Kanaya said slowly.

“Hmmm?”

“And, well, of course you don't need to answer now.”

“Kanaya.”

“It was just something I was thinking about.”

“Kanaya.”

“And it's just something I want you to think ab-”

“Kanaya!”

“Yes?”

“You're rambling again,” Rose said, trying very hard to stifle a laugh, “Go ahead and ask the question.”

“Oh, um, have you thought about... dating?”

“Not in a little while, I'll admit,” Rose said warily, “Why, did you have someone in mind?”

“Uh... well... maybe... me?” Kanaya said, clipping the last word off as close as she could. Kanaya held her breath.

Rose blinked.

“Who put you up to this?” Rose asked.

Kanaya blinked this time. “Well, Karkat gave me some advice to...”

“And he dragged you into his little scheme to pity me? I thought he was better than that.” Rose narrowed her eyes.

Kanaya felt the world drop out from under her.

“What? No! No! Rose, it was my idea, I swear!”

“It was your idea to set up this whole thing and try to make me feel better? I thought better of...”

“Rose! I really do want to go out with you.”

Rose crossed her arms in front of her and laughed shortly. “That's funny, Kanaya. I almost...”

Rose trailed off as she looked at Kanaya. There were tears starting to trail down her cheeks. Kanaya looked like she was about to be sick.

And the Inverted Queen of Wands popped up in Rose's head.

“Oh my God. You're completely serious, aren’t you?” Rose covered her mouth with her hands.

*

More and more bodies were being dug up. The newspaper was crinkling in Vriska's grip as she read, and there was a half empty bottle of vodka sitting on the table next to her. There was nothing in the paper to tie the crimes to her, but she knew all of the victims' names. They were all people the Midnight Crew had paid her good money to hit. Some were gangsters, sure. But some were just people who owed them money. Some just pissed of Slick for whatever reason.

Dammit! She wanted to forget about this! She was trying to get better. She really was. She didn't need to have all these mistakes thrown back in her face. Bad memories of the person she had been up until just recently. And even worse before that, back home.

Vriska kept noticing one name in particular pop up. Aradia Megido, the up and coming hotshot officer. She had only just started and already she was “indispensable to the continuing investigation.”

Her! It must have been her bringing back those old ghosts to haunt Vriska. They were all buried and done for until she showed up. She was dredging up the guilt of the monster Vriska was trying so hard not to be any more. She had to be stopped.

Vriska decided she was going to have to be a monster one last time.

*

“Dirty Martini please, Karkat,” Rose said, sitting down at the bar.

“Where the hell have you been?” Karkat snapped, but he started making her drink anyway.

“Oh, out with Kanaya. Buying dresses and books. You know. Girl stuff.”

“Fucking fascinating, I'm sure. I wish you fuckers would wise up and figure out the Felt wants us dead.”

“There's not a whole lot more we can do until they decide to make a move, Karkat.”

“Bullshit. I have Jade rounding us up some weapons. I would have Vriska doing the same, but I haven't fucking seen her all day.”

“All day, all night. Don't you ever sleep Karkat?”

“I'll sleep when I'm dead,” Karkat said, and he set the glass in front of her with a click.

“Might be sooner rather than later then.”

Karkat just snorted in response.

After a few sips, Rose spoke again.

“You know, Kanaya asked me an interesting question today.”

“Yeah, I'll bet,” Karkat said sarcastically as he was wiping down the bar.

“She asked me if I was interested in a relationship.”

“The mind fucking boggles,” Karkat said in a distracted tone.

“It didn't go very well.”

Karkat froze and looked at her. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“I didn't think she was being sincere,” Rose said quickly.

“Lalonde, you fucking idiot, Kanaya doesn’t even know how to be sarcastic!” Karkat looked like he was about to explode.

“I know! It took me a minute, but I figured it out.” Rose held up her hands defensively. “We came to an understanding.”

Karkat eyed her warily. “What kind of understanding?”

“That...I would need a little time. That it's something I never thought about before.” She looked up at Karkat hesitantly. He simply looked at her.

“...but I was willing to consider new things.”

Karkat nodded, and returned to his cleaning.

“Good. Didn't think she had it in her.”

“Yes. I was surprised too. It was hinted that you, of all people, helped her work up the courage. That was kind of you.”

“Fucking slander. I kick puppies.”

*

Aradia was sitting at the Treehouse Cafe with a cup of coffee in front of her. It was nice to get away from the investigation for a little while. She was going to take the day off and spend some time with Sollux, of whom she was growing rather fond. Equius was showing her some attention too, but it made her uncomfortable, mainly because he outranked her. He seemed to back off when he realized this though.

She had shown up early to make sure Sollux and she got a table. If her guess was right, Sollux would be there in about ten more minutes. She was looking forward to it.

“Officer Megido?”

“Sorry, ma'am, I'm off duty right now, but I might still be able to help you with-”

She heard a whisper right next to her ear. “I have a gun to your back, Officer Megido. Don't make any sudden moves.”

Aradia realized that the stranger was talking with a Russian accent.

“Vriska?”

“Good guess.” A hand reached over Aradia's shoulder and dropped two quarters on the table. “You and I are going to go for a little walk and talk. Get up slowly. Pretend everything is fine. I'm just an honest citizen asking the famous new officer for some help.”

“Sollux is supposed to meet me here,” Aradia said warningly.

“Then Sollux is going to have to be stood up. Let's go.”

Aradia finished her coffee, quietly got up and walked away from her table, with Vriska following closely behind.

“We're going to the storage house next-door.”

“You're going to kill me, then?”

There was a short silence and then, “Not if I don't have to, Officer.”

They both went down the alleyway between the cafe and the warehouse and opened a side door. Aradia wondered why it was unlocked when the inside was so dark and dusty.

“I picked it,” Vriska said, answering her unasked question, “Now, up the stairs, third floor.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“You'll know shortly. Move.”

Aradia grabbed the railing and carefully climbed the rickety stairs. Her mind raced. She didn't have a gun. She didn't like to carry them very much when on duty, let alone off-duty. She didn't want to match her police hand-to-hand combat training against Vriska's army training. Not with Vriska's body count. She couldn't get away right now in the narrow stairwell.

She was just going to have to see how this played out.

“Sit down,” Vriska said as they reached the third floor. Aradia did so, slowly. Before she could react, a coil of rope was dropped down past her shoulders. It was pulled tight, trapping her arms against her sides.

Vriska couldn't be holding her gun if she was tying a knot.

Aradia whipped her head back, but Vriska was faster. She stepped back and gave Aradia a blow to the head that left her seeing double.

“That was your free shot,” Vriska hissed in her ear.

Aradia tried to stop her ears from ringing, but she was dragged to her feet and roughly pushed forward. Finally, when she was against the wall, Vriska spun her around to look her in the face.

One of the first things Aradia noticed about Vriska was that she didn't seem to be sleeping or eating much. She was thin and the effect was exaggerated with her baggy trench-coat. Her eyes were tired and her face was serious. Aradia still found it difficult to scrape up any pity for this woman at all

“Alright,” Vriska said, tapping the end of the gun on Aradia's chest, “I will make this short, simple, and easy. You stop investigating these...old bodies. You stop investigating me. You drop this whole thing. I let you go and leave you and your friends alone. No trouble. No back-stabs. No blackmail. We each forget the other person exists. Got it?”

“And if I refuse?”

“Then someone dies today,” Vriska said, angrily bearing her teeth.

“How do you expect me to convince them to just...call it off? The damage is done already.”

“That's your problem!” Vriska barked.

“You want me to just...forget all the people you killed?”

“Yes.”

“And all the horrible things you did back in-”

Vriska pressed the gun against Aradia's forehead so hard that the back of her head smacked against the wall.

“No! Do not talk about that! Fuck you for bringing that up! Fuck you!”

Vriska seemed to calm down just a bit. The pressure on Aradia's forehead lessened.

“I did… what I had to do to survive. It's like stealing to feed yourself, but on a bigger scale. I... had to kill people. I didn't have a choice.” Her voice trailed to a whisper, “I was trapped. Eat or be eaten.”

“I... don't believe you,” Aradia said.

Vriska snarled.

Aradia shook her head. “Even if you kill me. The investigation is going to go on. Harder than before with a dead officer on your record. I'm not going to let you get away with all the things you did, or whatever it is you did to Tavros, even if it means you killing me for it.”

“I never said that I was going to kill you,” Vriska said calmly.

“What?”

“I just said...” Vriska looked out the window. She could see a police car pull up in front of the cafe. Sollux stepped out. “...that someone is going to die today.”

Vriska leaned out the window and leveled her gun.

“No!” Aradia screamed. Vriska pulled the trigger.

There was a crack, and the police car wobbled. Sollux, still in uniform, had ducked and covered his head. He looked up, and saw Vriska with a pistol, holding a panicked Aradia by her bonds. Sollux and ran back to his car and Vriska dragged Aradia deeper into the warehouse.

*

Sollux had been prepared for something like this. He knew Vriska was a troll, a species naturally tougher than humans in the first place. He also knew that Vriska was a die-hard even by troll standards. She had been hit by gunfire before only to recover a few a days later. He wasn't going to take any chances this time.

Sollux reached in his back seat and pulled out a breach loading double barrel shotgun. He loaded two shells and stuffed another handful in his pockets.

He then picked up the radio and barked into it. “Backup needed and the Treehouse Cafe! It's Vriska! She has Aradia and is held up in the warehouse next-door! Shots fired!”

He dropped the radio and started running full tilt.

“Everyone get home!” he yelled to no one in particular as he ran to the side door of the warehouse. He shoved the door in and scrambled up the stairs, shotgun scanning the stairway as he pounded up the stairs.

He was acting stupidly and he knew it, running in without waiting for his backup to arrive, but he was angry. Vriska had shot at him and was threatening to do the same to Aradia.

He got up to the third floor and ducked as a shot and cracked into the wall next to his head. Sollux saw Vriska just disappear through a doorway, walking a now gagged Aradia ahead of her. Vriska kicked the door shut and bolted it from her side before continuing through the maze of boxes and rooms.

“Better hurry officer!” Vriska said tauntingly.

Sollux struggled to get the door open. He finally backed up and rammed his shoulder into the door. It shook, but didn't give. He did it again. Nothing. One more try. His shoulder burned, but the door didn't budge.

He heard sirens outside. He looked out the window. Three cars had pulled up, full of officers with Equius leading the charge. Sollux yelled and waived to him, leaning out of the window and pointing to the door on the side of the building.

Sollux thanked God for their speed in getting there as he heard Equius pounding up the stairs.

“I told you to wait, Captor!”

“Fuck that! She has Aradia. I can't get this door...”

Equius shoved him out of the way. He braced himself, leaned back, and kicked his foot out. The door slammed open with the sound of splintering wood. Sollux wasn't exactly cut out for too much physical activity besides running, but Equius was built like a bull.

They both went forward, scanning the room and moving on to the next door. Again, Equius had to break it down. Again, he did it with one shot. They continued this for three more rooms until they finally came into a very large room stacked with boxes.

“I tried to be reasonable, officers.” Vriska's voice came from the darkness.

“Give it up, Serket.” There was a lantern hanging on the wall at the end of a row of boxes. Sollux walked towards it carefully.

“Where's Officer Megido?” Equius demanded.

“Safe, for the moment,” Vriska said calmly.

“What are your demands?” Sollux said. He was walking slowly towards the lantern, but it seemed like a long ways away.

“Simple. Drop the investigation against me. Let me go. I let you have Megido back and you never hear from me again.”

“Not going to happen,” Sollux growled.

“I'm trying to give you a way out!” Vriska practically screamed. “I'm trying to end this without killing anyone!”

“Then turn yourself in, Serket,” Equius said calmly, “No one has to die. We can get you the help you need.”

“No! I know your lawyer friend. The only help she thinks I need is someone to pull the lever on the gallows.”

“Let Aradia go.” Sollux could tell where the voice was coming from now. It was the last row of boxes in the aisle. Right next to the lantern. He steadily made his way forward. He could hear Aradia whimpering and sobbing.

“Let me go and drop the investigation.”

“We can't do that.”

There was a heavy silence. “Just remember. I gave you a way out. I tried,” She hissed in the darkness.

Sollux saw a shadow leap out from behind the boxes, in front of the lantern

He heard the flapping of the leather trench-coat.

He saw the silhouette her hand holding a gun.

Sollux pulled the trigger. The force of the shotgun blast nearly knocked him over.

When he recovered, all he saw was a trench-coat covered body on the floor, with pool of blood slowly forming around the heap.

Everything was quiet.

“I...I got her. I can't believe I actually got her,” he said.

He heard footsteps trailing off into the darkness. Why was Aradia running away? She was safe now. The gunfire must have scared her. Sollux got up and walked over to the body, hoping to see where Aradia had run off to.

He stopped.

Sollux felt like he was going to throw up as he saw one of the arms that was sticking out from the pile of leather. The gun was tied to the hand with rope.

The pool of blood was rust red.

“Officer down!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Russian to English!  
> Gavno = Shit  
> Nyet = No


	4. The Devil to Pay

“The worst part is, we still can't prove anything,” Terezi said quietly. She was leaning against a desk, talking to Equius and Nepeta. Sollux, for obvious reasons, was given paid leave.

Equius was unusually quiet. It was Nepeta who spoke up.

“Nothing? It was Vriska's coat! There has to be some fingerprints on it. The gun? Anything?”

“The gun and the coat are new. She must have bought them right before this whole thing happened. She was wearing gloves when this happened. No fingerprints.”

“This is crazy!” Nepeta wailed. Tears were starting to fill her eyes.

“She set this whole thing up and Aradia is dead and we can't do anything about it!”

Nepeta slumped down, sitting on the ground, hugging her legs and resting her head on her knees. She began sobbing quietly.

Terezi sighed and looked away, rubbing the back of her head. Equius finally broke his silence.

“Get up, Nepeta. You're being foolish.”

Nepeta looked up and Equius with amazement and hurt. As she got up it quickly shifted to anger.

“You. You… You stupid hemo-facist! Just because she's a red-blood...You think...” She started punching him in the chest. The blows were reckless and ineffective, especially against Equius' massive frame. After about half a dozen hits, Nepeta slowed down and eventually stopped. Anger had given way to exhaustion and depression.

Equius acted like nothing happened.

“I stand by what I said,” he growled. “...but not because of that.” He pointed a finger at Nepeta. Nepeta just gave him an angry look.

“You're sitting here crying when there's work we could be doing. As far as we know, Vriska still works for Vantas. I want you to go to his speakeasy and go undercover.”

“We don't know that...” Nepeta started.

“Don't give me that,” Equius said, “I know you've tipped him off more than once to our inspections. You... like him for some reason. I only let it go because you did so well everyplace else.”

Nepeta looked panicked. “But... but... He wouldn't...”

“That's what I want you to find out, Nepeta.”

He turned to Terezi. “And I know you have had a relationship with him in the past.”

“She what?” Nepeta yelped, wide eyed.

Terezi shrugged. “Ancient history.”

Nepeta relaxed a bit.

“Good,” Equius continued, “Then you won't give him any leniency, like you did in the past.”

Terezi smirked. “You're more perceptive than I gave you credit for, Sergeant. I don't think he's involved in this, but if he is, I'll tie the noose myself.”

“Fine, but in the meantime, I'm going to go ask you to check on Officer Captor. He is prone to mood swings and may do something foolish.”

Terezi arched an eyebrow.

Nepeta looked shocked. “You want Terezi “Hemp Rope” Pyrope to be on suicide watch?”

Terezi laughed at Nepeta's statement. “Yes, it does sound silly, doesn’t it? Don't worry, I'll check in on him. Maybe find him something to keep him busy.”

Equius nodded, “I'm going to go through Officer Megido's notes and see if I can't find anything else we can use.” He waved his hand as he walked away. “Remember that the funeral is the day after tomorrow.”

*

Vriska remembered slipping out of the back of the warehouse in the confusion. She remembered picking up her old trench-coat and gun, stashed in an old wooden crate in an alley three blocks over. She remembered the blood that dripped off her hands. She didn't know where it had come from. She wasn't close enough to Aradia when she got killed to get any on her. Did she get cut and not realize it? She held up her hand.

No, it was all different colors. Blue and red and yellow and green. And... she didn't feel bad about them, really. She didn't really have a choice. It was kill or be killed. But then she saw John, staring at her hands with a look of disgust and horror and shame, and she felt like she was going to be sick.

“Vriska...”

“I'm sorry, I had to. I'm sorry… You don't know what it was like.”

“Vriska.”

And Vriska woke up.

She was sitting in one of the oversized chairs in the speakeasy, with her coat draped over her shoulder and her arms pulled out of their sleeves and folded over her chest. Her hat was pulled over her eyes. She looked up at John, looking over her and holding her shoulder. She suddenly felt a surge of anger. How dare he judge her! After all she had to do, how dare he be so disgusted with what she did just to survive!

“Get away from me!” She yelled and swatted his arm. John took a step back.

She glared at him and he just...looked at her, hurt and confused. Vriska felt like she just kicked a big puppy. She rubbed her face.

“Ah...I'm sorry John. I was having a bad dream.”

“Oh.” John said. He relaxed a little and rubbed his arm. “What were you dreaming about, uh, if you don't, uh...”

“Just...monsters...” Vriska said quietly. “...and ghosts.”

*

“Alright, missy. Here's the stuff.” Spades Slick jumped down from the back of the truck. Droogs and Hearts Boxcars followed him, each grabbing the side of a big crate.

“What did I tell you about this “missy” shit, Spades. I'm not wearing a fucking tu-tu”

“Fine, Jade.” He said the name with dripping sarcasm. Had to respect that mouth, though. He grabbed a crowbar and took out his frustrations on the nails holding on the lid.

The crate was mostly filled with ammunition, something Karkat never bothered to stock up on until now, but there were a few other things as well. Slick reached in and pulled out a couple of handguns. “Here, some army handguns. New models,” Sick said in a bored tone. Jade grabbed one.

“M1911.” She looked closely the trigger “Yep. A1 version.” She pulled back the slide and inspected the barrel. Then she pulled it back a couple more times to test the motion. She nodded when she was satisfied.

Slick just blinked and then rolled his eye. Great. She was an “enthusiast”. He sighed and pointed to the remaining contents of the crate.

“Here, clips and ammo for the handguns. These ones are for the choppers you already have. And...” Slick reached in and pulled out a rifle, “...this. Mosin-Nagant.” Slick said, trying to get some of his credibility back.

Jade whistled and grabbed it, pulling back the bolt. “Nice. I won't tell Vriska you called it by the wrong name, though.”

“What the fuck? That's what it's called!”

“They never called it that in Russia. Nagant had hardly anything to do with...”

“Well, this ain't Russia. Do you want it or not?”

“Calm down. As long as it shoots, I want it. What about the knife for Dave?”

Slick grinned. Knives he knew. He flipped one out of his pocket.

“Right from Toledo. Gold plated. Pearl handle.” He flipped the blade out. “Nice action on that, huh?”

“I'll take your word for it.” Jade grinned. “I don't know anything about knives. Or Ohio.”

“Fucking Spain, not...” Spades sighed. “Fine. Look. Let's just talk price.”

*

Night had fallen on the Loaded Key and the show was in full swing. The Brass Tacks played their hearts out tonight. Dave's sax sounded thick, heavy, and sweet, like molasses. Jade's base thudded in the background, difficult to notice but still keeping the song alive like a heartbeat. John's fingers danced up and down the piano, bringing out notes that were crisp and clean as daylight.

After a little while, Kanaya and Rose stood up on the stage. Rose began to tease a slow, sad, and strangely familiar song out of her violin. It was a song that she learned growing up, as many violinists did, but the way she pulled it out of the strings now brought back fond memories for everyone in the room.

Kanaya began to sing, quietly but clear.

“Tell me the tales that to me were so dear,  
Long, long ago, long, long ago,  
Sing me the songs I delighted to hear,  
Long, long ago, long ago,  
Now you are come all my grief is removed,  
Let me forget that so long you have roved.  
Let me believe that you love as you loved,  
Long, long ago, long ago.”

Nepeta sat at one of the crowded tables with a drink in front of her. She was wearing her baggy coat and an old hat. She couldn't believe that someone like Karkat could be involved in what happened. Sure, he broke the law, but he never hurt innocent people. Only other gangsters. He was never violent unless he had to be, despite how angry he acted all the time. She tried to look around inconspicuously. Everyone seemed to be concentrating on the song. She got up and moved towards the upper rooms where Karkat kept his office, which was mostly just a room with a desk and a filing cabinet.

“Do you remember the paths where we met?  
Long, long ago, long, long ago.  
Ah, yes, you told me you'd never forget,  
Long, long ago, long ago.  
Then to all others, my smile you preferred,  
Love, when you spoke, gave a charm to each word.  
Still my heart treasures the phrases I heard,  
Long, long ago, long ago. “

If Nepeta was good at anything, it was sneaking. She easily picked the lock on the office door and let herself in. She doubted that Karkat would be dumb enough to write anything illegal down and leave it in an obvious place, but maybe she could figure out which not obvious place to start looking. She pulled open the bottom drawer and started fingering through the folders. Nothing but things for the band. Instrument receipts, paychecks for shows, that sort of...

“Can I fucking help you Nepeta?”

Woops.

“Tho' by your kindness my fond hopes were raised,  
Long, long ago, long, long ago.  
You by more eloquent lips have been praised,  
Long, long ago, long, long ago,  
But, by long absence your truth has been tried,  
Still to your accents I listen with pride,  
Blessed as I was when I sat by your side.  
Long, long ago, long ago.”

Nepeta shot to her feet and held her hands in front of her defensibly. Karkat just closed the door behind himself.

“I can kick your ass and you know it!” Nepeta growled.

“What the fuck is your problem? You're usually on my side. Kind of. You haven't turned me in, anyway. And now you’re going through my fucking things and acting like I'm going to sic Vriska on you.”

“Like you did to Aradia?”

“Like I...what the fuck are you talking about?” Karkat look utterly bewildered.

“You don't know about Officer Megido?”

“I don't even know who the fuck she is, Nepeta. What's this about Vriska?”

Nepeta visibly relaxed. “Oh thank God.”

“What. Are. You. Talking. About,” Karkat said through clenched teeth.

“I, uh, look. The other day one of our officers was killed.” Nepeta knew that if she was caught telling this to Karkat, she would be out of the job. Or in jail. She was willing to stick her neck out for him though, if it meant that he would stay safe.

“This Megido lady? You think Vriska was involved?”

“I know Vriska was involved. She set the whole thing up. I mean, she didn't pull the trigger, but she made cops start shooting each other in a dark room...and...” Nepeta trailed off. She started to sniffle.

Karkat still looked suspicious. “Alright,” he said quietly, “Why would Vriska do something like that? I mean, I know she's fucking crazy, but crazy enough to just off a cop?”

“Aradia was investigating Vriska. She hit on some big leads and found some bodies. Have you been reading the news lately?”

“No, I don't go near those...” Karkat's eyes slowly widened. “...but Vriska has been reading the news. And being fucking depressed and irritable as hell, too.”

Nepeta nodded eagerly. “Right. Aradia was pretty sure those bodies were linked to Vriska. We can’t prove anything yet, though. But if Vriska was reading the paper...”

“She would know that this Aradia girl was closing in on her,” Karkat finished. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He stayed that way for a few seconds, taking deep breaths. This was bad. This was very, very bad. It was fairly common knowledge that Vriska was working for him, and she went and killed a cop. This was going to bring the law down on all of them, no matter who was involved. They were going to raid the place. Come in guns a blazing and ra...

Wait.

“Nepeta, how long has this investigation being going on?”

Nepeta shrugged. “I don't know. About a month or so? It really got full swing about a week ago, after Aradia got some information.”

“From where?”

“No one knows.” Nepeta shrugged again.

Those green-suited fucks. He knew that they were involved in this. Waiting for a police investigation. They were just going to wait for Karkat and the police to wear each other down, and then they were going to come in a finish the job. Karkat felt his heart pounding.

“Nepeta... Can you do me a big favor?”

“I already did by telling you all of this. If anyone finds out, I'm in prison,” Nepeta said, with a pleading look on her face.

“I won’t fucking tell anyone you told me, okay? Does Terezi still work with you guys?”

“Well... yeah. Did you really used to date her?”

“Not fucking important!” Karkat snapped. He recomposed himself. “Look, I just need you to ask her to meet with me. I think we can sort this out. I just need her to hear me out.”

Nepeta looked doubtful “Sounds shady to me.”

“Look. She can pick the time and place. She can come armed. I won't. I just want to talk.”

“... Alright, I'll tell her.”

“Thanks. Go out the back. I need to have a talk with our troublemaker.”

*

As the last drunk got thrown out that night, to face whatever he may on the street, Karkat made his rounds with the pay for the night. A good amount of the money was put aside for expenses and buying more alcohol. Karkat divided up what was left evenly and handed it out.

He handed some folded bills to John.

“Vriska around?” Karkat asked.

John nodded. “I think she's just making her rounds to make sure everyone has gone home.”

“Let her know I want to see her when she's done, alright?” Karkat started to walk away.

“Uh, sure. Something wrong?”

Karkat stopped. He had never lied to John.

“Just want to go over her role in this whole Felt thing.” That was true enough.

“Oh. Okay. She knows some stuff about tactics. Don't keep her too long, okay? She… doesn’t look too good.”

“Yeah. It'll be quick.”

*

Vriska didn't bother knocking.

“You wanted to see me, boss?” She said, as she shoved the door open.

Karkat was sitting behind his desk, which was covered in papers. He didn't like the way she said “boss.”

“Close the door.”

Vriska looked at him suspiciously, but did what he said.

“You going to chew me out for being too rough with the customers? Again?”

“You look like shit, Vriska. John's worried.”

Vriska didn't know what to say to that. She just looked at him, bewildered. Was he concerned for her?

“What's it to you?” She snapped at him.

“I don't like it when my employees start breaking down. You and I are not friends, but I am friends with John, and he likes you for whatever fucking reason. You're bringing other people down.”

Vriska sighed. “Look, I'm just... going through some... stuff.”

“Stuff with John?”

“Kind of.”

“You two falling out?”

“No. Not like that.”

“Afraid he's going to hate you when he finds out you put a hole in a rookie cop that you could stick your fucking head through?”

“Look, why are you suddenly so interested in my love li...” Vriska blinked. Her hand moved like a snake and suddenly, her peacemaker was leveled between Karkat's eyes. Karkat, to his credit, didn't flinch.

“How. Did. You. Know. About. That.” She bit off each word sharply.

“Hrmph. I didn't for sure.”

“If you tell anyone, I'll...”

“You'll what? Blow my brains out right in my own office? I hope the reaper will let me haunt you long enough to watch you explain that one to John.”

Vriska's hand started trembling.

“He gets in your head, doesn't he?” Karkat said quietly, “Even with all the stuff he's done, you know there isn't an evil bone in his body. He only uses on that hammer on people trying to hurt his friends. He makes you want to try to be a better person. He's dopey, honest, and loves those shitty movies of his. And he trusts you. He thinks you're shaping up.”

“Shut up! Just...” Vriska's eyes screwed shut and she started breathing raggedly. She looked like she was going to break down crying right there.

“I never... I did what I had to do... and now the ghosts are still there. Whispering things I'm afraid John will hear. That... Megido... she was summoning ghosts to haunt me. They should have stayed buried. Quiet. I had to stop them from coming out of the ground.”

Karkat didn't say anything. He just looked at her for a long time. Finally, Vriska lowered her gun and leaned back against the wall.

“Now what?” She asked, lowering her head until the brim of her hat covered her face and rubbing her eyes.

“This could go two ways,” Karkat said, “One, you silence every fucking thing that makes you feel guilty. They come with a fuckload of evidence and Terezi lets you dance the jig of death, because like hell you won't hang after everything you've done, and John finds out everything. All the shit you pulled.”

He leaned back.

“Not that it fucking matters, because even with your help, the Felt are going to kill us. A grand total of four of us know how to shoot, and only two of us are any good at it. You and Jade. The Felt are going to come armed to the fucking teeth, and they all know what they're doing.”

“Aren't you Mister Sunshine,” Vriska growled.

“Or...” Karkat went on, ignoring her, “We make a deal with the cops. They help us round up the Felt, and that's one more big problem they don't have to worry about. We live to see another day. You get to keep your reputation as the repentant sinner.”

“What's the catch?”

“The catch is that when the Felt are gone and everyone is safe, you turn yourself in to the police.”

“Bullshit! What happened to my reputation?”

“Won't suffer. You turn yourself in for shit you pulled that John already knows about. Illegal weapon possession. Rum running. You shot people in self defense but you still shot people. They have plenty of things to throw at you and try to make stick that John and everyone else already knows about.”

“So I rot in prison for the sake of love?”

Love, she actually said it. Karkat grinned inwardly, but he made sure to keep a serious face as he went on.

“Maybe, maybe not. Who knows what they'll actually get to stick? And if they do manage, you turned yourself in. You weren’t fucking caught. You manned up, and that will go a long way with the parole system and John. Either way, if you don't take that chance, everyone dies. John, Kanaya, you, everyone.”

He looked her in the eye.

“I guess it all depends on how lucky you think you are.”

“What makes you think they'll even accept?”

“You're going to sign a confession.”

“See what they can actually get to stick, huh?” She said sarcastically.

Karkat shrugged. “You can argue it was under duress. I need to give Terezi something.”

There was another long silence.

“... Fine. I'll do it.”

“I'll talk to Terezi when I can.” He looked up at her, and she looked back with a pleading look in her eyes.

“This conversation never happened. I asked you about battle plans, being the scary fucking White Army vet you are.”

She sighed, nodded, and walked out, closing the door quietly behind her.

*

The next afternoon, Nepeta showed up again. She managed to wave Karkat down as he was stepping out of the club for something to eat. He hadn't had a proper meal in days.

“Terezi says that she'll talk to you tomorrow at the Treehouse Cafe. She said to be there at 11:00AM.”

“Thanks, Nepeta.”

“Be careful, okay?”

“... Yeah. I will.”

He put on his hat and met John as he was walking out the door while Nepeta slipped away.

“Does Jade have everything she needs?” He asked John.

“Oh, yeah. She said she and Vriska can start giving us shooting lessons any time now.”

“We'll start tomorrow night.”

“That works.” John thought for a second, and then, like he just remembered something, “Oh! I wanted to thank you.”

“Why the fuck would you want to do that, Egbert?”

“I don't know what you said to Vriska, but she must enjoy talking tactics with you. After we left, we stopped to eat and she had like...three sandwiches.”

“... Huh.” Karkat looked thoughtful.

“She's sleeping better, too.”

“That's fucking great, Egbert.” Karkat waved his hand dismissively.

“Mhm.” John said with a nod, seemingly oblivious to Karkat's sarcastic tone.

“...Wait. How do you know how she's sleeping?”

“Uh... Well, I mean I haven’t seen her in like, ten hours so I just assumed...”

“...Right.”

*

“Tea, please. Two sugars,” Terezi said, smiling.

“Coffee, black,” Karkat said.

The waitress nodded and walked back inside.

There was an awkward silence. Karkat was the source of most of it.

“So... funeral's going on now?”

“Yes,” Terezi said evenly.

It was a stupid question. Karkat could hear the public funeral in the distance. He couldn't hear everything of what was being said, but he knew that the chief of police had said a few words and Mayor Peixes was giving a tearful eulogy.

Karkat sighed. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don't know. You're the one who asked to meet me,” She said, not looking at him.

The waitress dropped of their drinks and decided to make herself scarce. This sounded like a personal conversation.

“Alright, well, here's the thing. I need help.”

“Karkat, why would I possibly want to help you right now?” Terezi said. She actually sounded angry, something unusual for the normally flippant troll.

“Two reasons. One, I'm probably going to die without it. Two, I have this.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He unfolded it and placed it on the table so that Terezi could read it. She went to pick it up, but Karkat pulled it away.

“No, you don't get to keep this yet. Just read it.”

Terezi gave Karkat a nasty look over the rim of her red glasses, but she leaned over and read the paper.

Her eyes slowly opened wider and wider as she realized what she was reading.

“This is...”

“Right, a confession. To lots of things that could put her behind bars for a long time.”

She read through it again, but frowned a bit this time.

“Nothing here about Officer Megido.”

“No, there isn't, but there's more than enough stuff here to keep her locked away for the rest of her life.”

Terezi leaned back in her chair and gave Karkat a thoughtful look.

“Okay, I'm listening anyway. What do you need help with?”

“You know the Felt?”

“Who doesn't?”

“Well, they're going to raid my club and kill everyone in it. We don't have the kind of manpower or firepower to fight them off.”

“Tragic, but what do you want from me?”

“I don't have a lot of allies I can trust right now. I need you to convince the police to help me fight back against the Felt.”

Terezi laughed. “You want me to what? What makes you think they'll agree to fight alongside you, much less alongside Vriska, after what happened?”

Karkat tried to remain calm. “Because, when it's all over, you guys will have both the entire Felt and Vriska Serket under your belt.”

“And why shouldn't I just have you arrested now and take your confession?”

“Because if you help me, Vriska will turn herself in. If you don't, you'll have to hunt her down. That hasn't worked too fucking well for you so far.”

Terezi raised an skeptical eyebrow. “Turn herself in? Really?”

“Right. No shoot outs. No troll-hunts. Just Vriska with her hands out so you can cuff her.”

Terezi sipped her tea and thought for a few seconds.

“So we give you a little firepower and manpower, and in exchange, we get to be rid of the Felt and Vriska?”

“That's right.”

“They're not going to want to take sides in a gang war.”

“It's not a gang war. It's one gang trying to take over an honest jazz club for illegal purposes and the Police heroically defending it. That's what the fucking papers are going to say anyway.”

Terezi took a minute to finish her tea. Finally, she stood up, brushed herself off, and held a hand out to Karkat.

“I'll see what I can do.” She grinned.

Karkat nodded and shook her hand.

He winced as, in the distance, the twenty-one gun salute started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little less action packed than the last chapter, but these are things that need to happen before the story can go on. The next chapter will have plenty of action, so stay tuned!


	5. Break Shot

“Your attention please, gentlemen.” Snowman stood to address all of the Felt. The statement was unnecessary. Snowman had everyone's attention as soon as she entered the room. Behind her, Cans and Sawbuck carried a very large wooden crate. They let it down with a thud right behind Snowman. Crowbar used his namesake to pry the lid off.

“Inside this crate are the weapons and ammo that we'll be using. We have shotguns, Thomson sub-machine guns, and pistols. If you have a preference, please let Crowbar know when you come to collect your weapons. If your preferred gun is out, either trade with someone else or stay near a person with your preferred weapon. If that person dies, congratulations, you get your preferred weapon.”

Snowman paused to light another cigarette. The flame from the lighter shone off of her skin

“Hopefully that won't be an issue. We're going in on their turf, but if we hit them hard and fast, they shouldn't have time to respond. Stitches, the blueprint please.”

Stitches obediently unrolled a large blueprint and pinned the corners down. Snowman stood in front of it and the remaining dozen Felt gathered around her.

“Unfortunately, Biscuits was caught and killed before he could relay back any useful information. However, we have some information about entrances and exits and the general layout of the building. Now, please pay attention...”

*

“Okay everyone! Pay attention!” Jade shouted to everyone in the speakeasy. The rest of Karkat’s gang all stood lined up in front of some makeshift targets in the basement room of the speakeasy. They were mostly wooden cutouts placed against a wall of sandbags that they had spent the better part of the day setting up. Jade and Vriska stood in front of the rest of the crew.

“Rule one!” Jade said, “All guns are always loaded. Remember that. Also, don't point your weapon at anything you aren’t ready to shoot. Always store your gun unloaded.”

Vriska continued the lesson, “Safety is on when your gun is holstered and off when it's drawn. Keep your finger off the trigger until you have your target in sight. Know what your target is and what is behind your target. Despite the name, friendly fire is generally not very friendly.”

She got a few looks from the audience. Vriska gave them the evil eye in the way only she could. It was the look of someone who was hanging on to their patience by their teeth. I don't feel like putting up with smart-ass comments, it said. Jade had a few words with her before the lesson and...convinced...her that it would be in her best interests to play this lesson straight.

“Oh! That reminds me,” Jade said, “From this day forward, no one is allowed to wear any green. Sorry, Kanaya. We don't know when the Felt are going to attack, but you're not going to have time to change clothes when they do. Like Vriska said, we have to be sure of our targets.”

*

“For the purpose of this exercise, remember who are targets actually are,” Equius announced to Sollux, Terezi, and Nepeta. The three of them sat on or leaned against the reception desk in the lobby of the police station, while Equius paced slowly in front of them.

“For now, as much as I don't like to say it, our only enemies are the Felt. Serket is not a target.”

Sollux grunted. Equius ignored it.

“Vantas and the rest of his hooligans are not targets. If we injure one of them, that's one less person fighting on our side. If any of them dies, the...deal...falls through. We want this to go as smoothly as possible. Now, we're going to head over to the club so we can get an idea of the layout and skills of the people we'll be working with. Does everyone have their weapons? Good. Let's go.”

*

“And...go!” Vriska, standing over to the side of the lineup of students, dropped her upraised arm. All at once, the basement was filled with noise as the students drew their weapons, unlocked the safety, and opened fire. Jade and Vriska both walked up and down the lineup, looking for people having trouble.

“Good grouping, Rose. You've done this before, haven't you?” Jade said.

“I've taken a couple self-defense lessons at my mother's insistence.”

Down the line, Vriska was standing next to John, who wasn't doing as well.

“Nyet! Nyet! You're holding it wrong. Here.” Vriska stood behind John, leaned against his back and looked over his shoulder. She wrapped her arms around him and grabbed one of his wrists with each hand.

“Hold your gun level like this, so you can see straight down the sights. Steady it with your other hand. Looking cool doesn’t mean much if you can't hit anything.”

“Uh...right.” John was blushing heavily. Vriska was leaning right up against his back. He felt her breath against his ear. Vriska grinned wickedly.

“Keep your target in sight. Line it up. Don't pull. Just...gently...squeeze.” She leaned up against him harder on the last word. John fired off three quick shots. Vriska looked down range.

“Better! Keep practicing.” She patted him on the shoulder and moved down the line. John was still having trouble forming coherent thoughts and couldn’t manage to get a response out before she moved on.

When Vriska got down to Karkat, he stopped shooting long enough to talk to her.

“That was a fucking mean trick. Where did you learn shit like that?”

“Must have picked it up from my mother,” Vriska said just loud enough for him to hear over the gunfire, “She was a real man-eater.”

“Yeah, I'll bet,” Karkat said. He fired off a few more rounds, before stopping Vriska and whispering in her ear. "Look, if you see Gamzee duck out, let him."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to deal with the Reverend today."

At the other end of the line, Jade was coaching Tavros, who was using her old shotgun.

“Okay, make sure that you have it tight against your shoulder. It has a bit of a kick. Get your target lined up and squeeze off a shot.”

“Like...uh...this?”

Bang!

Thud!

“Oh wow, are you okay?”

“Uh...ow.”

“You might want to make sure you have your brake on next time you fire, kay?”

Vriska started laughing from the other end of the line.

Karkat sighed. Some of them were doing okay, but others were hopeless. Dave's aim was terrible, Gamzee took way too long to line up his shots, and Kanaya wasn't handling the idea of recoil very well. They were going to embarrass Karkat. And the police were already on their way.

*

“The police are on their way over to the speakeasy,” Crowbar said to Snowman. Snowman just nodded and turned to the rest of the Felt.

“Alright, everyone. Get your weapons and get ready.” As she spoke, she made sure her body armor was strapped on tightly.

“This is the moment you've all been waiting for. Move fast. Hit hard. Leave no prisoners. Move out.”

*

There was some panic in the Loaded Key as the police stepped inside, but Karkat quickly calmed everyone down.

“Relax, you fuckers! They're here to help.”

“You're kidding. Help us?” Dave said.

“Yeah, and I had to pull some major fucking strings, so don't fuck this up,” Karkat said to his gang at large as Terezi walked into the room.

“My, my, so many laws being broken in plain sight.”

“We have a deal Terezi,” Karkat said warningly, quiet enough so only the two of them could hear.

“Indeed we do,” She whispered, “Don't worry. We'll keep our end of the bargain. You get our help and no one has to know that you sold out Vriska.” Terezi was hoping to annoy him with the “sold out” comment, but if it did, Karkat didn't show it.

While Karkat and Terezi talked business, Equius, with Sollux and Nepeta behind him, talked to the rest of the gang.

“Which one of you has experience with weapons?”

“Vriska and I are trained,” Jade said, “Karkat and Rose know enough to get by. The rest have about two hours.” She shrugged.

“What weapons do you have?” Equius went on. Vriska spoke up this time.

“Two Tommy guns, a rifle, a shotgun, some pistols, and this.” She patted her gun, which was hanging on her shoulder. Equius stammered and started sweating.

“Is that...”

“It's a B.A.R, yes.” Vriska nodded.

“I am positive that's illegal. Somehow.”

“Maybe. Not the issue right now.”

It was John who asked the question on everyone's minds.

“Look, not that we don't appreciate it, but why are you guys helping us when...”

Equius hesitated, but Nepeta covered him.

“We decided that the Felt are more dangerous than you guys. You're the lesser of two evils right now. Right, Sergeant?”

“Ah...right,” Equius stammered. It was true enough.

“Don't think we like it,” Sollux added. His shotgun was cradled under his arm.

“Watch where you point that thing, Officer,” Vriska said with a smirk, “We don't want any accidents.”

Sollux gritted his teeth, but Equius placed a hand lightly on his shoulder.

“Patience,” he said quietly.

Sollux wanted so very badly to wipe the grin off her face, but he simply turned and marched upstairs.

“Checking the doors,” He said briskly.

“Help him out please, Detective Leijon,” Equius said.

Nepeta nodded quickly and scampered up the stairs.

To everyone else in the group, it just looked like an officer understandably disliking being told what to do by a criminal. Terezi and Karkat were involved in their own discussion on the other side of the room.

“Now that they're looking at Zahhak, and not us…” Terezi said quietly, “Do you have your end of the deal?”

Karkat shifted his eyes around a bit before reaching into his pocket and handing Terezi a folded piece of paper.

“Here, keep it out of sight.”

“Oh yes.” Terezi grinned like a kid in a candy store. She reverently took the piece of paper, quickly scanned it to make sure it was the genuine article, and then folded it back up and slipped it in her jacket pocket, “We'll catch up later. For now, let's join the rest of the party.”

They walked over and stood at the back of the group. Terezi stood next to Vriska.

“How does it feel to know that your days are numbered?” Terezi whispered in Vriska's ear, “Feel a pressure on your neck yet?”

“Hrmph.” Vriska glared at her, “Only if the Felt don't kill you first, Pyrope. We still have a fight to win.”

“Or you. But don't worry. I wouldn't let anything happen to you. I want you to get exactly what's coming to you.” She grinned and leered at Vriska from behind her red glasses.

“You remind me of a pig wallowing in shit,” Vriska hissed back, “You still have to pin something to me.”

“Shouldn't be that hard. I have so many crimes to choose from.”

“We'll see.”

Terezi realized then that John was staring at them.

“Just catching up.” Terezi smiled, placing an arm around Vriska's shoulder. Vriska gave a weak smile.

“You two know each other?” John asked, looking surprised.

“From a long time ago, John. Ancient history.” Vriska waved her hand dismissively.

“I'm hurt, Vriska,” Terezi said with an exaggerated frown, “After all we've been-”

“They're coming! They're coming!” Nepeta scrambled out to the ledge at the top of the stairs. They all looked up at her with shock on their faces.

“They're here!” She shouted down at them.

“Fuck!” Karkat barked, “They must have thought we were being raided! Everyone get your guns! Upstairs, now!”

*

Clover pulled out his oversized, gold pocket-watch. He looked at Snowman in the backseat.

“Sure doesn’t sound like the place is being raided.” He said quietly.

Five cars were parked along the street outside the club, each one holding two or three Felt. They all waited, quiet and tense, for a signal from Snowman.

Snowman took one last drag from her cigarette before pulling it out of the holder and flicking it onto the street.

“How long since they went inside?” She asked as she pulled out another.

“I don't know. They got here before we did, but we've been waiting for at least fifteen minutes.”

Snowman looked up as she heard some thudding sounds come from inside the club. It sounded like tables were being overturned. Snowman pulled out her old silver lighter, and flipped the top open with a sound like a knife being sharpened. She flicked her thumb, and held the flame up to the new cigarette.

“Let’s go,” She said, as the lighter clicked shut. She made sure her revolver was loaded as she stepped out of the car, quiet and dark as a shadow, with only the glow of the cigarette to show that she was even there. The rest of the Felt climbed out of their cars, each clutching some sort of weaponry. Shotguns, Tommy guns, pistols, and even some grenades.

“Cans,” Snowman said quietly, “Knock on the door, please.”

Cans, one of the biggest Felt, walked over next to Snowman. Without even needing a running start, he turned and slammed his shoulder against the door. It crashed open.

The inside of the club was dark and quiet.

A few of the Felt filtered in, including Clover, Itchy, Cans, Quarters, and Fin. Snowman looked around. She could make out that some of the tables on the other end of the room were turned over, but it was too dark to see otherwise. Fin had found a light-switch and flipped it.

Snowman realized that all the tables that were flipped over were in a row. All the top sides of the tables were facing away from the front door.

“Cover!” She yelled, drawing her gun. Cans and Quarters quickly flipped two tables towards them and Snowman ducked behind one.

“Fire!” Karkat yelled.

The world went mad.

*

Gamzee felt like a coward. He didn't want to kill people. He didn't want to be killed. He just wanted to sit and drink wine and laugh with his friends.

Between staying busy getting ready for the upcoming fight and sheer nerves, he hadn't had a drink in two days.

He had snuck upstairs, where Karkat's office and some other rooms were. Along with some random storage, Karkat let Gamzee have one of the rooms for himself, where he could sleep and spend time alone when he didn't...when he didn't want to go back home. When the old goat was there.

Hands shaking, he locked the door behind him and turned on the light. Along with some boxes, empty wine bottles and an old cot, there was one of Gamzee most valued possessions: a large, brass crucifix hanging on the wall.

It was three feet long and held onto the wall with four sturdy nails. There were no jewels and no ornamentation, just a plain, polished cross.

Gamzee walked slowly over to the cross. He dropped to his knees in front of it. He dropped his eyes, unable to look at the symbol.

Gamzee sobbed.

“Bless me father, for I have sinned...”

*

Fin went down with the first volley, slumped against the wall, smearing blood along with him as he dropped. Itchy was behind the tables before anyone knew what happened, joining the rest of the Felt. Clover joined soon afterward, none the worse for wear except for a hole in his hat.

“Looks like we were set up,” Clover said calmly.

Snowman growled. “If Biscuits wasn't dead already, I'd kill him.” She lifted her gun over the table and fired a couple of blind shots.

Cans clapped Quarters on the shoulder.

“Give me some cover fire.” He rumbled. “I'm going to go around the back of 'em.”

Quarters nodded. He leveled his Tommy gun and launched a fusillade over the top of the tables. Vriska responded with a quick burst from her BAR, while Cans took the opportunity to scoop up a shotgun and run sideways, firing shots off as he went. He circled around to the end of the row of overturned tables that were giving his opponents cover, where he stopped and leveled his shotgun at his exposed foes.

Equius was waiting for him. The troll grabbed the shotgun and wrenched it out of the big man's hands, tossing it over next to the stage.

“You're under arrest. Come quietly and-” He was cut off by a massive fist. Equius' head snapped back and he fell to the floor, blood trailing from his nose.

“That's a funny one, copper. Let’s see how funny you are now that I just broke your neck.”

Equius grabbed a table and hauled himself back to his feet. Cans was surprised. Usually people stopped moving for good after he hit them that hard.

Equius glared at the huge man, then turned his head and spat out two teeth. Cans could see that some of the others were cracked.

“I see you're the 'resisting arrest' type. Very well.” Equius cracked his knuckles.

Cans took another swing at him, but this time Equius was ready. He stopped the hook dead with his forearm and countered with a pile-driver hit that sent Cans stumbling backwards.

Equius pressed the attack, with two more hits: a hook to the jaw and a punch to the gut.

Cans didn't know what to do. This guy fought like a street pro. He threw another punch, but Equius side stepped it and landed a couple jabs, bouncing lightly on his feet. Cans decided to throw out the rules of engagement. He grabbed a chair and lifted it high over his head.

Equius threw an undercut that landed on Can's chin with the sound of breaking bone.

Cans went down and stayed down.

Equius ducked back behind the tables, only to see Sollux and Nepeta staring at him, slack jawed. He pointed a finger at them.

“You have shooting to do.”

Nepeta quickly picked up her police-issue revolver, and Sollux his shotgun. They decided that they didn't want to know.

Itchy jumped out from behind cover and sprinted to the other side of the room, the opposite direction Cans went. He fired off six shots from his pistol, fast as machine gun fire. Jade tried to get a shot off while he was reloading, but Itchy had six new bullets in and the hammer cocked before the empties even stopped bouncing. Jade winced as another shot grazed the top of the table, right next to her head, before she could even get a single shot off. She ducked down again.

Okay...now what?

Itchy had already ducked behind cover again. Jade realized that he was just going to move from cover to cover until he could get behind them. She reached in her pocked and pulled out a handful of bullets.

Well, ammo is cheap, right?

Itchy, just as Jade had expected, darted towards another table for cover. Jade threw out the handful of bullets, and they clattered right in front of the sprinting gunman. Itchy stepped on them and enough of the cylinders rolled that he lost his balance, tumbled forward, and smashed his head on the corner of the table he had been running for.

He lay on the ground, still as a corpse. Jade popped out just long enough to aim her rifle and made sure that he stayed that way.

Meanwhile, Snowman was not in a good mood. Today was not going like she planned. She motioned to Quarters and Clover and they all ducked back out the front door.

The silence was deafening.

“Are they gone?” Nepeta asked. Karkat shook his head.

“They're probably going to try and use the back ramp. Everyone downstairs. You three...” He pointed to Dave, Vriska, and Terezi, “Stay here and yell if they try to come back in this way. Try not to fucking kill each other, alright?”

“You're leaving me with these two?” Dave jabbed his thumb over his shoulder.

“Well I'm sure as fuck not leaving them alone. You keep talking about how good you are with the ladies. Prove it,” Karkat said as he followed the rest of the gang down the stairs.

“You hear that Terezi? He's good with the laaaaaaaadies,” Vriska said mockingly.

“Oh God,” Dave muttered under his breath.

“I don't know. He IS pretty cute.”

“You can't be serious!” Vriska snapped.

Terezi walked over to Dave and stood right in front of him, her face scant inches away from his. Dave folded his arms in front of him and kept a blank look on his face.

“You've got very nice eyes,” She said, looking at him with an appraising gaze, “It's a shame you hide them behind those glasses of yours.”

“Says the troll with the red lenses.” Dave smirked. Terezi just laughed.

“I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” She grinned like a shark. Vriska made gagging noises in the background.

Terezi pulled her glasses down and looked over the rims as Dave sighed, and lifted his shades to look back at her.

“Such lovely eyes,” Terezi purred.

Vriska groaned. She's rather be shot at then have to deal with this...

Then she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Something had been thrown through the doorway.

It was a grenade.

Everything seemed to slow down. Vriska tried to run forward, but she felt like she was running through water. Her mind raced. How long was the fuse on these things again? Usually around four seconds. Give them a second after they pull the pin to throw it. Three seconds left.

The grenade bounced on the wooden floor and arced up over the tables that they were using for cover. Call it two seconds now. It was practically going to land at Dave and Terezi's feet. Dave took a step back, holding Terezi.

“Grenade!”

Terezi turned around and her face, in slow motion to Vriska, shifted into a mask of horror.

Vriska leaned forward as far as she could and swung her hand down low. She caught the grenade right as it was about to hit the floor again, and swatted it back over the tables.

One second.

Using the momentum from swinging her arm, she twisted up and around on her heel, and clapped her hands on Dave and Terezi. Out of reflex, she pulled them both to the ground and pinned them down, laying on top of them.

The grenade barely made it back through the open door before exploding. Part of the door frame was blown out and the one Felt who stayed behind to throw the grenade, Sawbuck, was rendered unrecognizable.

Vriska slowly lifted her head back up. Dave was the first to break the silence.

“You are, without a doubt, the luckiest bitch I know,” He gasped.

“Hah! Pure! Fucking! Skill!” Vriska laughed the laugh of someone who had just escaped death by the skin of their teeth.

“Vriska,” Terezi said quietly, “Not that I'm not grateful, but I still don't like you.” She raised her voice a bit, “So watch where you're putting your hands!”

“Sorry.” Vriska grinned as she pushed herself back to her feet. She dusted her coat off as Dave helped Terezi up.

“Well, I don't think they're going to try that way for a little while,” Terezi said, looking at the doorway, “Do you think that they're going to come in the back wa-”

They heard two explosions come up from the stairway going down.

They all looked at each other and ran down the stairs.

*

When Karkat got downstairs, Tavros, Rose, John, and Kanaya were already waiting behind some overturned tables.

“Is everyone, uh, okay?” Tavros asked.

“Yeah, fine. Three Felt are down,” Karkat said, “That still leaves ten, so don't fucking let your guard down.”

Jade, Sollux, Equius, Nepeta, and Karkat all leaned down next to the rest of the gang behind the cover of the tables.

“All quiet here?” Karkat asked.

“Not a sound,” Kanaya said nervously. She held her pistol like it was going to bite her. Kanaya sat very close to Rose, who handled hers with a bit more ease.

“Well, we kicked their asses up there. Fuckers are probably going to try the back do-”

There was a muffled boom from upstairs.

“What the fuck was that?” Karkat shouted, looking at the ceiling.

They waited for some other sound. After a second, they heard talking again, to their relief.

“I repeat, what the fuck was that?”

“It almost sounded like a...” Rose started.

“Grenade!” Tavros shouted.

“You think?”

“Get down!” He said as he pushed himself out of his chair and hid under the tables.

Two grenades bounced down the back ramp.

The whole gang dove to the floor behind the tables.

The two explosions actually moved some of the tables around, breaking up their cover. Equius took a piece of shrapnel in the leg, and Nepeta had a table smash into her head.

“Nepeta!” Equius tried to get up, but he winced and dropped to one knee.

Matchsticks, Crowbar, Die, Quarters, and Snowman walked down the ramp.

Karkat looked at Kanaya and Rose.

“Get those two out of here!” He said to them, gesturing to a small door near the storage room. Rose helped Equius up and Kanaya, deceptively strong for her lean frame, actually lifted Nepeta up over her shoulder.

The Felt leveled their weapons, taking aim at the injured trolls and their helpers

Karkat lifted his pistol and shot at Snowman. She jerked and fell over backwards as a bullet slammed into her chest.

They all looked down at her.

She started to sit back up. Her vest held.

“I'm fine, you idiots! Get them!”

They turned and looked back at the trolls, but they were immediately scattered by automatic weapon fire. Dave was standing at the top of the stairs, holding a Tommy gun.

“A hundred bullets, Strider, and you manage to miss with every one,” Vriska said dryly as she leveled her B.A.R.

“Thought I'd give them a fighting chance,” Dave deadpanned.

She saw Snowman getting back to her feet after being shot. Armor, huh?

“Hey! Eight-ball!” Vriska shouted. Snowman looked up at her, “Let's see your armor stop this!”

Vriska squeezed the trigger. Her gun roared to life and twenty finger-sized brass shells clattered to the ground. She looked on with satisfaction as Snowman jerked several times and collapsed to the ground again.

Rose managed to get the door open and guided Equius through. Kanaya ducked behind her and a couple of shots hit the open door.

The Felt who had stuck his head up to take the shots, Matchsticks, was quickly taken down by John.

Crowbar looked over at Snowman, she was turning over on her stomach, trying to get into a position where she could get back up. Crowbar made a note to get a suit of that armor.

“Cover me!” He shouted. Quarters popped up and unloaded another drum of Tommy gun fire. Crowbar ran out, grabbed Snowman under her arms, and hauled her to her feet. She winced and limped over to the rest of them.

“Broken ribs,” She gasped. They could see blood coming out from under her armor, as well.

“We're losing, boss,” Die said as they ducked down behind a row of tables near the far end of the bar. Snowman looked over to one of the bottles of liquor that had been scattered in the explosion.

She felt her pockets for her lighter.

“Not yet.”

*

Trace had entered through the now-destroyed doorway upstairs. Close behind him followed Eggs and Stitches.

“Anyone here you can help?” Eggs asked Stitches.

“Cans, maybe. The rest are gone,” He sighed. He walked over to Cans and inspected the damage.

Trace looked up at the ceiling.

“There's someone on the second floor,” He said quietly. No one asked how he knew.

“Go take care of 'em then,” Stitches said, “We can join the rest after.”

Trace nodded and started up the stairs with Eggs behind him.

They drew their guns and went door to door, opening them carefully and looking inside. Finally, they came to Gamzee's room. This one was locked. Trace shot the lock off the door and pushed it open. Inside, Gamzee was kneeling in front of the cross, quiet.

“Who the fuck are you?” Trace asked.

Gamzee didn't move. He didn't say anything.

Trace and Eggs looked at each other. Eggs walked over to Gamzee and put the gun against the back of his head.

Gamzee didn't move.

“Not afraid to die, troll?”

Gamzee leaned forward and reverently put his hands around the base of the cross.

“The Lord will protect me,” He whispered calmly.

Gamzee whipped around, cross in hand, and smashed Eggs in the side of the head before Eggs could even react. One of the arms of the cross sank deep into his skull.

“But of the times and the seasons, brethren, ye have no need that I write unto you,” Gamzee said in a loud, clear voice.

Trace blinked and lifted his gun. Gamzee was faster. He pulled up the cross, still covered in blood and gray matter, and smacked the gun out of Trace's hand. He swung again and clipped Traced on the head, knocking him backwards.

“For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night.”

Gamzee leaned down and straddled the prone Felt. He grabbed Trace's throat with his free hand and pressed him against the ground. Trace grabbed his arm and tried to pry him off, but Gamzee's grip was like iron.

“For when they shall say, Peace and safety; then sudden destruction cometh upon them, as travail upon a woman with child; and they shall not escape,” Gamzee went on, mesmerized.

Trace looked up at him. Gamzee had the eyes of a mad thing.

“Who...” He gasped.

Gamzee lifted the heavy, brass cross and brought it down with a wet thud. Trace screamed and tried to claw at Gamzee's face, hoping to catch his eye or something. Anything to get him to let go. Gamzee didn't even notice the scratches. He lifted it again.

“I am...”

Again the cross came down. Trace's struggles slowed, and then stopped.

“...the Reverend.”

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Youtube video of 20 shots being fired from a browning automatic rifle.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEo8yRiDU0w


	6. The Lost Souls

Snowman tore some pieces off of Matchsticks' green suit, figuring that he wouldn't need it anymore. She stuffed the cloth in several bottles of strong liquor and turned the bottles upside down to soak the cloth through. She opened the lighter and flicked a flame into existence.

Die went down hard. A shotgun had taken off most of his face.

Snowman handed the bottle to Crowbar.

“When I light it, throw it behind them. Hit the carpet,” She said. She touched the lighter flame to the cloth, and it burst into flame. Crowbar leaned back and heaved the bottle. It tumbled end over end and smashed into the carpet the trolls were standing on. Flames sprang up instantly.

“Fuck!” Karkat pointed to the stairs, “Quick! Up the stairs before the fire cuts us off!”

John actually scooped Tavros up and they ran around the quickly spreading patch of flame to the back stairway. Vriska was at the bottom of the stairs. She stood aside so the rest could file past her.

“Up, you crazy bitch! Go! Up the stairs!” Karkat yelled.

“I'm not done here.”

“You're going to die!”

Vriska looked at Karkat. She looked at John and Tavros. She turned and scanned the rest of the crowd Vriska smirked.

“I'm not that easy to kill. Go!” She reloaded her B.A.R.

“Vriska...” John said.

“I'll be right out, John. Just wait for me outside.” Vriska turned to see Quarters holding two bottles. He was winding up for a throw.

“Go!” Vriska practically shoved John and Tavros up the stairs. They stamped forward, just avoiding a bottle smashing into the stairway behind them. The wooden staircase blossomed in flame.

There were five shots from the top of the staircase. Quarters finally went down. Vriska looked up to see Terezi holding a smoking revolver.

Terezi pointed at Vriska. “You better not die, you bitch! No one gets you but me!” And with that, Terezi was gone.

Vriska grinned. She turned and leveled her B.A.R where she knew Crowbar and Snowman were hiding. She squeezed the trigger and wood started splintering. She walked as she shot, her eyes shimmering with the reflection of the flames.

*

Stitches was wondering what was taking Eggs and Trace so long. He stood up and shook his head. Cans was going to have to eat his meals through a straw for a while.

Stitches looked up as he heard footsteps coming down the stairway.

“What kept you two?”

“The shepherd was tending to his flock.”

“What? Who the fuck are you? Where are Trace and Eggs?”

“Sitting at the left hand of God.”

Stitches drew his revolver, but stopped when he heard sounds behind him. Most of Karkat's gang was heading towards the door in a big hurry. Karkat stopped and looked at Stitches.

Then he saw Gamzee walking down the stairs, holding his cross and indigo blood dripping down his face.

“Fffffuuuuck,” Karkat breathed, shaking and wide eyed. He turned to the rest of the gang. “Everyone! Out! Now!”

John stopped to protest, but Karkat shoved him out the door bodily.

Once they were outside. Karkat sank to the ground.

“We need to help him!” John protested.

“That green-suited fucker doesn’t deserve our help.”

“I meant Gamzee!”

“Hah,” Karkat said mirthlessly. He saw the look in Gamzee's eye and the gore on his cross. “That's not Gamzee. That's the Reverend.”

“But...”

Karkat sighed. “John. Okay. Look. You know Gamzee the fucking happy-go-lucky wino. I've seen this Gamzee before, and he fucking horrifies me. You see...okay...these...these two guys broke into the place once. Tried to rob us. They ganged up on me first and put me out of the fight. Then they...they went after Gamzee. And...”

Karkat just covered his face with his hands.

“Their heads were all over the fucking wall. Gamzee was like a talking bible. He was shouting about...judging the sinners...cleansing them.”

John just looked confused. He had heard something like this before. Maybe from Rose.

“He's...does he think he's God or something?”

“Fuck no. God forgives.”

*

Vriska emptied her last clip of rifle ammo into the tables that Crowbar and Snowman were using for cover. She dropped her rifle and ducked towards the storage room. Crowbar saw his chance and stood up, aiming his gun.

Crowbar went down with a quick series of bangs. Vriska blew the smoke from her revolver and ducked through the door.

She stopped and looked around, at the crates and bottles and the gin distillery standing on the floor in the middle of the room.

The fire was going to be here soon. She readied herself for fighting her way out again, past Snowman. No rifle ammo left, or even the rifle itself, but she still had her pistol.

After a minute or so of looking around the storage room and readying herself, she heard a voice.

“I've been waiting to meet you, Miss Serket.”

She whipped around, and came face to face with a tiny little man in a green suit and a purple hat. She leveled her pistol.

“Oh, and why is that?”

“I wanted to meet the only person who claimed to be luckier than me.”

“I'm luckier than anyone. Ask your friend when I send you to see him”

“You're not luckier than me.”

Vriska growled. He knew how to push her buttons.

“How do you plan on proving it while I have you at gunpoint, you little green shit?”

Clover just smiled an odd little smile. “I know you fired five shots from your pistol on the way over here. You have one shot left.”

Vriska smirked. “So, you actually want to play a game of chance with me?”

“Oh yes. That's because I know I'll win.”

“Is that so?” Vriska turned her pistol away from Clover. She spun the cylinder.

“Round and round she goes...”

She stopped the spinning.

“Looked like a fair spin to you?”

“Oh yes. I was watching carefully.”

“Fine, I'll just show you how lucky I am.” She leveled her gun at Clover. She didn't need to bother to show him how this game is played.

Clover smiled his odd little smile. He didn't try to move or get out the way.

“You’re not even afraid?” Vriska asked. She sounded like she was losing her patience.

“No. Because I know that I'm the luckiest person here.”

Vriska pulled back the hammer.

“We'll see.”

She pulled the trigger. The hammer dropped.

Bang.

The back of Clover's head exploded. He jerked backwards and fell to the floor.

Vriska stared for a second. She addressed the cooling corpse.

“I reloaded. Did I forget to mention that?” She smiled.

She walked to the back of the storage room, knowing in her heart that all the luck in the world wouldn't help you in a crooked game.

*

Rose was quickly moving back down the ramp to the speakeasy, with Kanaya close behind.

They had made sure Equius was in a safe space and made sure that Nepeta was at least conscious, even if she was badly nauseous from the blow to the head. The two wounded trolls were sitting in an alley across the street, where they could stay out of site behind some garbage bins, but still see what was going on. Equius was given instructions to make sure that Nepeta did not fall asleep, and was told to stop complaining about the smell.

Now Rose needed to help the rest of her friends.

“This is very dangerous.”

“I'm well aware, Kanaya.”

Kanaya bit her lip nervously. She sniffed the air.

“Do you smell smoke?”

“Probably just from...gunfire.” Rose stopped cold. She stared at the inferno.

“What happened?” Kanaya gasped.

“Karkat! Dave! John! Anyone!” Rose looked around desperately for any signs of life.

Kanaya scanned the flames herself. She didn't see anyone.

She didn't see Snowman.

Snowman grabbed Kanaya's shoulder. Kanaya looked over and saw her narrow, white eyes.

She felt fire shoot through her gut as Snowman plunged a knife into it.

Kanaya stared straight ahead, wide eyed. “R-Ro...”

Rose turned around, and saw Snowman pull the bloodied knife out.

“Kanaya!” Rose ran forward, trying to get to the troll.

Snowman whipped around and backhanded Rose so hard that she went tumbling backwards onto the burned out carpet, kicking up a cloud of ash and soot.

Kanaya dropped to her knees, holding her stomach. Jade blood seeped through her fingers.

Snowman dropped the knife and disappeared up the ramp.

Rose pushed herself to her feet and started coughing violently from the ash. Her face was covered in it. She stumbled over to Kanaya. Kanaya looked sadly up at her.

“Oh...Rose. I'm sorry I didn't...” She winced, “I wish we...”

Rose tried to say something. That it would be okay. That they would spend lots of time together. Anything. But every time she started to say something, she was cut off with coughing and hacking.

Rose finally settled for simply hauling Kanaya, wincing, to her feet. She draped one of Kanaya's arms over her shoulder.

Kanaya leaned heavily on her, breathing hard. Trolls were generally heavier than they looked, but Rose managed to support her.

Rose promised herself that they would make it.

Slowly, steadily, they walked up the ramp.

*

Stitches’ gun fell to the floor. Gamzee had him by the throat and was pushing him backwards, towards the burning stairs. Stitches tried and tried to pull himself free. He couldn't breathe.

The fire was already spreading to the wooden floor of the building proper. It crept along the ground, feeding on the club's carpets and curtains.

Gamzee stopped at the edge of the stairway to the basement, where the fire was still roaring. He pushed Stitches backwards, into the flames. Stitches started struggling and screaming wildly as the flames moved up his pants and started consuming his clothes.

“Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of hell?”

Gamzee dropped him, burning, down the stairs and into the inferno.

Gamzee stared at the fire as it crackled below him. It seemed like a long time before the screaming stopped.

Gamzee shook his head sadly. So many souls left unsaved.

“Reverend.”

Gamzee turned around and saw Karkat standing in the room. He was holding a bottle of wine and small paper bag in his hands.

“Would you like some wine, Reverend?”

“Alcohol is poison for the mind and soul.”

“But it's the Sabbath, Reverend. We need to have the...holy sacrament.”

Gamzee look puzzled. “Is it? I didn't realize...”

Karkat nodded. He put the open wine bottle carefully on the ground. He tried to ignore the flames, the fact that the club was burning down around him. His entire future and all his hard work.

He needed to focus. He needed to do this carefully if either of them were going to get out of this alive.

He opened the bag and pulled out a small bread roll. He handed it to Gamzee, who picked it up and stared at it.

He held it up.

“This is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world. Happy are those who are called ad to his supper. “

He looked expectantly to Karkat. Karkat racked his memory. He was sweating, mostly from the intense heat that was filling the room. It was distracting, to say the least.

“Uh...Lord, I am not worthy to receive you...but...but only say the word and I shall be healed.”

Gamzee nodded. He tore a piece off of the bread and ate it. “The body of Christ.”

Karkat did the same.

Gamzee picked up the wine. He looked around for a second for something to pour it in, but saw nothing. He asked a quick prayer of forgiveness for his crudeness.

“The blood of Christ.” He put the bottle to his lips and began to lift.

Karkat moved fast. He put his hand on the bottom of the bottle and shoved it farther into Gamzee's mouth, lifting it almost straight up and draining a good portion of the wine down his throat.

Karkat let go and the bottle dropped to the floor. He jumped backwards, eying Gamzee warily.

Gamzee coughed and sputtered and wiped his mouth. He looked around, puzzled. He noticed Karkat and gave a vacant grin.

“Hey, Karkat. Man, what's going on?”

Karkat started breathing again. “We need to go, Gamzee.”

“Is it hot in here or some...Oh no.” Gamzee saw the cross on the floor, covered in gore. He recoiled.

“Oh no. Fuckin'...It happened again...”

“Gamzee! Now!” Karkat grabbed Gamzee and dragged him, crying, outside.

“Bless me father, for I have sinned. Bless me father, for I have sinned.”

“Keep it together, you clown.”

“Bless me father. Bless me father. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Bless me...”

*

When Karkat finally got outside, he saw everyone gathered around something. Kanaya was laying on the ground, breathing shallowly. Her hand was stained green. Rose was over to the side washing her face off with a wet rag.

“What the fuck? Someone help her!”

Jade looked up, “Kanaya's the one who does this kind of stuff. We'll only make it worse, Karkat.”

Sollux just shook his head. He didn't have any kind of medical training.

“Arg.” Karkat rubbed his temples while Gamzee sat down on the ground and let his head drop to his knees.

“Okay,” Karkat said, “I know a guy on the corner of Wallace and Third. Lives above a haberdashery. Get Kanaya in one of the cars and take her down there,” He said, pointing to the cars the Felt came in, “He knows his stuff. Tell him I'll buy him whatever hat he wants if they fix her up.”

“A...a hat?”

“The guy is a freak for hats. Don't ask, just move.”

“I'll take her,” Rose gasped now that she finally got her wind back.

“Fine. Hurry up. Jade, take Equius and Nepeta and follow them, will you?”

“Sure, Karkat.”

*

As they loaded up the cars, Terezi sat on the street and watched the flames start to crawl up from the building. She frowned. Vriska wouldn't have stayed there. She would have ducked out the back. Terezi didn't expect anything else. It wouldn't be a problem. As long as she had her confession, it would only be a matter of time. She patted her jacket pocket to hear the reassuring crinkle of...

She patted her pocket again. She reached in and fished around.

It was gone!

She jumped to her feet and ran around to the back ramp. She didn't even hear Karkat shouting at her.

Terezi scrambled down the ramp, almost tripping on the incline. She scanned the room. Most of the fire in this area had died down, running out of things to burn. The fire was still going strong upstairs and in the storage room.

Terezi saw Vriska in the open door of the storage room. She drew her gun.

“Vriska!”

Vriska turned around and pointed her pistol back at Terezi. Vriska smiled and held up a piece of paper with her other hand. It was on fire, already mostly consumed. She dropped it to the ground.

Terezi growled. “You...How did you get that?”

“Watch where you put your hands, Vriska,” Vriska said, mimicking Terezi.

“You...You...” Terezi growled, and then she suddenly looked very calm.

“Fine. I don't need a confession.” Terezi pulled back the hammer on her pistol. Vriska laughed.

“You'd become a murderer yourself just to get to me? Oh, Terezi, I'm flattered, really. The irony is just delicious.”

“But I didn't kill you.” Terezi smiled, “The explosion did.”

Terezi fired and the bullet went over Vriska's shoulder. Vriska heard a clang. She turned around to see the gin still. There was a new hole in it, and a hissing sound coming out of it.

It was alcohol fumes leaking into the burning room.

The explosion threw Vriska out of the storage and into the main bar area, where she landed in a crumpled heap. Her ears were ringing. She tried to figure out what the hell just happened. Only one of her eyes opened when she looked around the room. Why couldn't she open her other eye? She groaned and try to push herself up, but for some reason she kept on slumping back to the ground.

“Why...why can't I get...” She looked at her arm. It was on the ground about ten feet away from her.

“Oh...That's going to suck when the shock wears off,” She grumbled. As pain started to course through her face, she realized that she couldn't open her eye because the left side of her face was cut up. Her eye was probably popped like a grape.

“You really are a tough old bird, Vriska,” Terezi said. She slowly and easily walked over to Vriska, keeping her pistol trained on the maimed troll's head.

Vriska looked up at her as she stopped. She was losing a lot of blood.

“Wait...wait...” Vriska gasped.

“You went too far, Vriska. I was content to let you criminal scum fight among yourselves, but you went too far when you killed one of us. A promising young officer is dead, thanks to you.”

Terezi reached in her pocket and pulled out a single bullet. She opened the cylinder and slid it into the chamber. The gun clicked shut and Terezi cocked the hammer. Unlike Vriska's game, Terezi knew exactly where this bullet was. She pressed the pistol to Vriska's head.

“I have one bullet, Vriska. Just for you.”

“Please...a last...request...”

“You're in no position to request anything.”

“A...drink and a cigarette...That's all I ask.” She weakly pointed to the bar. In front of it were a couple of bottles still intact and a few packs of cigarettes that Karkat sold along with the drinks.

“A drink...to old friends...and old enemies.”

Terezi sighed.

“Fine. You'll get your last meal before you meet justice. Just like any other criminal.” She snatched up a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of moonshine. She opened the bottle and handed it to Vriska, who had managed to at least prop herself against the wall.

Vriska nodded gratefully and took a long pull from the bottle. Terezi put a cigarette in Vriska's mouth. She realized that she didn't have anything to light it with. Vriska pointed to the floor behind Terezi. Terezi turned around and saw Snowman's old silver lighter on the floor. She picked it up, flicked it open, and started the flame.

“No witty last words?” Terezi said as she approached Vriska. Vriska just shook her head.

“Tsk.” Terezi keeled down and held the lighter up to the cigarette, but it dropped out of Vriska's mouth.

Terezi pulled her glasses down to get a better look at Vriska. Vriska didn't move. Terezi held the lighter up next to Vriska's face, watching for the flame to flicker. It didn't look like she was breathing either.

Terezi shook her head. It looks like she died before Terezi had a chance to do it herself. What a pity.

Vriska looked up at Terezi with a smile. She was holding her breath.

She couldn't talk because her mouth was full.

She pressed her lips together and spat a fine spray of moonshine past the flame on the lighter. The fireball hit Terezi right in the face. Terezi screamed and ripped off her glasses. She started clawing her eyes, where she had received the brunt of the fireball.

“I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Kill you! Kill you! Kill you!” She shrieked.

Vriska got to her feet and picked up Terezi's pistol. One bullet left.

“I could kill you right now, Terezi! I have your gun,” Vriska said, her voice a lot stronger now. “But, unlike you, I don't let my need for vengeance make me stupid. I am a survivor, above all else.”

Vriska turned and walked back into the storage room. She looked at one of the windows high up on the side of the wall, and to the stack of boxes next to it, starting to catch fire. She had to act fast.

Terezi heard a bang, and breaking glass.

“I'll kill you!” She screamed again, “I'll hang you with a short rope and strangle you, you treacherous _fuck_!” She stumbled blindly towards the sound, into the burning storage room.

*

John, with a piece of cloth wrapped around his face, ran down the ramp. Dave was right behind him.

“This is fucking stupid, John.”

“We have to help them!”

“I agree. It's still fucking stupid.”

“There!” John pointed to the burning storage room. Smoke was billowing out, but they could still see the silhouette of someone on their hands and knees.

“Kill her. Kill her. Kill. Her,” Terezi wheezed. She couldn't breathe through the smoke.

Dave hauled her to her feet.

“Come on! We have to go!”

“Vriska...”

“John! Do you see Vriska?” Dave looked out the doorway at John. John was staring at something over to the side that Dave couldn't see. He shook his head.

“We have go, Dave!”

“But...”

“Come on, Dave! If we don't get out, we're all going to die!”

Terezi slumped back to the ground. The smoke was killing her.

“Fuck.” Dave leaned down and threw the troll over her shoulder. He ran out of the room. John followed close behind.

John's eyes stung, from smoke and from tears.

*

The cool night air hit them like a cold shower as they stepped out of the building.

“Are you all fucking nuts!” Karkat screamed.

Dave put Terezi down on her back. She wasn't breathing.

“Fuck.” Dave pinched Terezi's nose, leaned down, and breathed into her mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing, Strider?”

“Shut the fuck up, Karkat,” Dave said. He started pumping Terezi's chest.

He breathed into her mouth again.

“Come on, you stubborn bitch,” He gasped. He tried to pump her lungs again.

On the third breath from Dave, Terezi started coughing violently.

“I...” She wheezed, “I'm awake.”

“Thank fucking God,” he said, leaning back.

“I didn't say 'stop', Dave.” She grinned weakly.

Dave rolled his eyes. He looked down at her.

“Holy shit, your eyes...”

Karkat looked over to John, who was slumped to the ground and just shaking his head.

“Couldn't find Vriska?” Karkat asked.

John looked up at Karkat, dazed. All he could remember was what he saw on the floor. Just an arm.

“Not all of her...”

“...Fuck...I'm sorry, Egbert.”

John just closed his eyes nodded.

Sollux, the only cop left on the scene, walked over to them when he overheard what was going on.

“What happened? Vriska is dead?” Sollux asked. John nodded again. Sollux looked over to Terezi, who was staring at the sky with blank, red, eyes.

She thought about the pain of her eyes being burned to uselessness. She thought of how she was probably going to be blind forever. She thought of how the last thing she saw, the last think she'll ever see, was Vriska's evil smile.

“Yes.” Terezi heard herself say, “She's dead. She died when the still blew up.”

Sollux stared at her for a few seconds.

He turned to Dave, “Can you take her to the hospital? I need to keep a police presence here.”

Dave silently helped Terezi up. He lead her to one of the remaining cars.

The remaining few who were left watched the club burn.

*

**Three weeks later...**

*

Doc Scratch sat in a small green room in an undisclosed location. One of his many safe houses. Snowman was resting on a green sofa at the end of the room. She would heal eventually.

The phone rang and Doc Scratch picked up the receiver.

“Yes?”

“We had a deal, Scratch.”

“I believe the deal was that you got the power and influence you wanted so I could get the information I wanted. I did not get information that I wanted.

“Well, I'm screwed too. Everyone is being celebrated a hero, except me.”

“I do not see how that's my problem.”

“It was supposed to be me! She was supposed to love me! Not that mustard-blooded fucker!”

“You will be hearing back from me about our deal. Good-bye, Mr. Ampora.”

*

Karkat walked into the Felt's old casino, looking around. It was quiet, and dark. The rest of the group followed behind him, including Kanaya, who was up and walking around despite her previous injury. She was still leaning on Rose though, who happily supported the weight.

“Well,” Jade said, waving at the empty casino. “What do you think?”

Karkat stood in thought.

“Too much fucking green,” He said, finally, “Going to need a new paint job.”

“It was nice of Terezi to...get us the deed after the...original owners abandoned the property,” Kanaya said, diplomatically. Rose just laughed.

Tavros looked around the room. “Wow, uh, this place is a lot bigger than our old one.”

“Guess everything turned out alright then,” John said with a weak smile. Dave just looked at him and shook his head in bewilderment.

“Alright, everyone. Let's get to fucking work,” Karkat said.

*

Terezi Pyrope sat at one of the tables outside the Treehouse Cafe, with her new cane leaning against her chair. There was a cup of coffee in front of the chair across from her. She sipped her tea and listened to the sounds of the city.

She heard someone sit down across from her.

“Can I help you?” She said.

“Long time, no see, Pyrope. I see you remember how I like my coffee,” A voice said.

“Oh yes. Things like that are hard for me to forget.”

“I see your burns have healed nicely.”

“Time heals all wounds,” Terezi said.

“How are things going for you and Dave?”

Terezi shrugged. “About as well as one can expect. We try to keep it quiet for now. He doesn’t like my friends that much, and I don't like his. We'll do our best to work something out.”

“And John?”

“He was sad that his girlfriend is dead, but at least she died helping her friends. He'll get over it.”

“Hah.”

There was a long silence.

Terezi smirked. “..but I knew you weren't dead, Vriska.”

“That's funny, because the police seem to think so. I have you to thank for that?”

“Of course.”

“But why?” There was annoyance and bewilderment in Vriska's voice, “After what I did to you, you're just doing to drop it?”

Terezi laughed. “No, of course not. But...” She smiled like a row of daggers, “It's personal now. Just you and me. We've each taken something from each other. Large pieces. Now no one else gets to be involved. I will be the one that kills you. No one else.”

She could practically hear Vriska's smirk.

“I can live with that. Or maybe I can't. We'll see, won't we?”

Terezi lifted her cup. “To old enemies,” She said. She felt Vriska click her mug against her cup.

“And the start of a beautiful hatred.” Vriska laughed.

Vriska drained the mug in one go and set it back down. After a few seconds, all Terezi could hear again were the general sounds of the city.

She sat there and listened.

And plotted.

*

_The night was cold and damp, like the grass in a graveyard at midnight. Roger Johnson, the famous actor from New York, walked into a harshly lit diner. As he sat down, his eyes drifted over to the waitress, a small, blond thing with striking blue eyes and a bosom that was barely contained by her white, uniform blouse._

_The waitress asked him what he wanted and he heard himself ask for a coffee with one cream and no sugar, but his mind was somewhere else entirely. As she walked away, his eyes drifted from her silky hair all the way down to her perfect legs._

_She walked back to the table with his coffee, with a subtle Mona Lisa smile that sent Roger's heart into palpitations. She asked him if he would like anything else._

“ _Yes, I would. I would like to know the name of the beautiful creature in front of me.”_

_She blushed and responded. “Victoria.”_

“ _Victora. A name as regal and lovely as its owner. Victoria, how would you like to come with me? I can take you away from this dingy diner and show you a marvelous time, with the finest, exotic foods and moving pictures. I would gladly do anything to spend more time with you.”_

_Victoria's blush deepened, but she smiled warmly. She leaned over into his ear and, teasing his ear with her breath, whispered..._

“This is stupid!” Nepeta tore the page out of her Remington typewriter, crumpled it up and tossed it towards the already overflowing wastebasket in the corner. It bounced off of the edge and landed among other rejected love scenes.

She leaned back in her chair, chewing on a pencil with a frown.

Nepeta had taken some well deserved time off from her regular job of snooping and busting speakeasies. She wanted to go camping and hunting in the mountains like she usually did this time of year, but the doctor insisted that she take it easy for a while because of her head injury. Equius had heard about this as well, and kept a careful eye on her when he could, despite his bad leg. He would often bring her newspapers and, despite his disapproval of her growing pile of discarded smut, extra paper and typewriter ribbons. Anything to make sure she didn't leave the apartment without both of them going nuts. Equius had been staying in Nepeta's place, as it was closer to the police station. He had tried to make dinner a couple of times as a way of paying for his room and board, but Nepeta resented him trying to push his vegetarian diet on her. They generally kept to their own hobbies while making sure the other didn't fall or pass out.

So Nepeta sat in her apartment, trying to write the next great romance novel under the pen name Kat Carmine. She had read so many that she wanted to try her hand at writing one herself. She quickly found out that it wasn't as easy as it looked. Her persistent bad mood didn't help matters.

She sulked as she thought about the past few weeks. She stuck her neck out for Karkat, helping him out at the risk of her job. And Karkat repaid her by getting doe-eyed over that dark haired human girl with the rifle. She hoped that he would see the light and turn away from his life of crime. Go straight, with Nepeta to guide him. Oh, they were still friends of course, but Nepeta was afraid that Karkat would always see her as someone on the “other team.”

She chewed on a pencil in thought. She slipped a new piece of paper into the typewriter. They say you should write what you know, right?

_Nina, the spunky young detective, was carefully following her mark. The notorious gangster, Carl, was wanted for multiple daring bank robberies. Carl never hurt anyone during his crimes, but he had made off with a lot of money that wasn't his, and that means that he needed to be brought in. Nina felt bad about having to arrest someone as handsome as Carl, with his chiseled arms and a gruff demeanor that hid a heart of gold._

_What Nina didn't know was that Carl was watching her almost as much as she was watching him. He found himself strangely attracted to the buxom young detective, and wondered at the possibilities. He thought about his life of crime, and if it was all worth it. He wondered what it would be like to sit down and talk with the detective, with her striking green eyes. He thought about his overbearing and much more violent partner in crime, Jane, and if she would ever let him go._

_They caught each other's gaze, and just for a second, a spark lingered between them..._

*

Yesterday, Equius had been promoted to Captain. Today he stood, uneasily because of his leg, at a podium, answering the questions of the group of reporters in front of him.

“Captain, any comment on the firefight yesterday?”

“The heavy loss of life was unfortunate, but we're relieved that the public can sleep easier,” Equius said.

“Any comments about the rumors of an illegal distillery in the club where the firefight took place?”

“The fire was quite bad, and we didn't see anything that could lead to an arrest,” Equius said carefully.

A troll reporter for a popular blue-blood newspaper raised his hand.

“Any comment on the failed experiment with the Rust-blood?”

Equius was very quiet for a second.

“Failed?” He said slowly, and dangerously.

“Well, yes. I mean, she couldn't go a month without getting herself shot. Hardly evidence of...” The reporter trailed off. Equius, in front of a whole room of reporters, slowly drew his pistol and leveled it at the troll. The troll was quickly all alone as the crowd melted away from him.

“I'm going to shoot you, if you say that again.”

“W...wha...?”

“Well? Is that what you really believe?”

“Ah...bu...”

“Say it again.”

“Not if you're going to shoot me, you maniac!” He shrieked.

“Really?” Equius flipped open the gun to show the crowd that it wasn't loaded and put it back in his belt.

“Officer Megido was faced with a similar situation,” Equius said to the silent crowd. “She was held at gunpoint by a dangerous criminal and was given a choice. Give up what you believe in, or die. Officer Megido chose to die instead of tarnishing her uniform. Being an officer, protecting the innocent, and bringing justice to the wicked was more important than her own life, and she proved it.”

He pointed to the shaking troll.

“You cannot say that you have the kind of conviction she had.” He narrowed his eyes. “She bled rust when she died. Do you know what you need to make rust?”

There was only silence. Equius turned and limped away from the crowd.

“Water...” He said, “...and _iron_.”

*

Sollux was walking down the street next to Feferi.

“It was a nice ceremony, I thought.”

“Mhm,” Sollux said. His new Sergeant’s uniform gleamed in the sun. He had taken Equius' position as the blue-blooded troll moved up to Captain. Equius was back on his feet and working again surprisingly fast after his injury. Nepeta recovered as well. Officially, she wasn't involved, but Sollux and Equius had arranged a fat raise for the undercover detective.

“And it's not like you don't deserve it. The Felt were huge players in the underworld in this city. With them gone, things have already started to quiet down.”

“And you'll look good with election season coming up.”

Feferi shook her head. “I don't think I'll be running again.”

“Oh?”

“No. I've never liked this job very much. I don't think I'm cut out for it.”

“That's too bad.”

They walked on in silence a bit longer before Feferi spoke up again.

“You still miss her, don't you?”

“...Yeah,” He sighed, “I mean, it was like we were getting along so well. And then, bang, it's over. The end.”

Feferi put a hand on his shoulder. Sollux looked over to her.

“There's no endings, Sollux.” She smiled warmly, “Just new beginnings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the fic. Please visit invalidGriffin's website or come see me on the MSPA forums.

**Author's Note:**

> Check out more art by invalidGriffin  
> [Main Website](http://www.invalidgriffin.com/)  
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